Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Because of mobile phones, young people can usually contact a parent if they have a problem.

Because of mobile phones, young people can usually contact a parent if they have a problem. 0aAQn
Adolescents can always communicate with a parent of they have a trouble, thanks to mobile phones. There will be advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, always contacting with parents will cause irresponsibility in young people. Because, he won’t have solve problems skills since person’s problems would solved by his parents. Mother and father should teach child to be responsible from an early ages. For instance, more responsible adolescents become successful proved scientists. Therefore, young people shouldn’t call parents for every little problem. Furthermore, they should understand than somewhen they will move to adult life where they would face a lot of problem that need to solve. On the other hand, always being contact with parents will lead to good relationship between them. Because, if the parents will help young people now, provided that them help parents later. In addition, parent can help adolescents with some big problems since young person can not be able to solve some problems. For example, international statistics show that some adolescents end by suicide because they could not solve their problems. Therefore, mother and father should sometimes help their child to solve some troubles. In conclusion, always being contact with parents can help to young people to solve some troubles. But it also could lead to irresponsibility in young person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adolescents
can always communicate with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
of they have a trouble, thanks to mobile phones. There will be advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand, always contacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will cause irresponsibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, he won’t have
Use past participle here: "solved".
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
since person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "solve"
solved
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Mother and father should teach child to be responsible from an early ages.
For instance
, more responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
become successful proved scientists.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shouldn’t call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Furthermore
, they should understand than
Possible spelling mistake found.
somewhen
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to adult life where they would face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that need to solve.

On the other hand
,
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'being'.
always being
contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship between them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, provided that them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
later.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person can not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, international statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, mother and father should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles.

In conclusion
,
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'being'.
always being
contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
could lead to irresponsibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Because of mobile phones, young people can usually contact a parent if they have a problem.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    imprisonment in five Countries between 1930 to 1980.
    The number of imprisonment in five Countries such as Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United State and Canada depicted by the rendered by the graph from 1930 to 1980. To begin with, in 1930, Great Britain has lowest number of imprisonment, it accounted for around 30 thousands it remain steadi...
  • 5.5band
    the level of participation of education
    Three different level of participation in education by developing and industrialized countries in two different years were depicted by the graphs. To begin with, in 1980 there was a around 3 years of schooling in developing countries whereas approximately 8 years of schooling in Industrialised coun...
  • 6.5band
    helee elejelgjkhek buhr youa
    The map illustrates the ground floor of an art gallery have developed from 2015 to the present day. Overall, it is clear that this floor has improved significantly with the emergence of new facilities. The first and major change is that from 2015 to the present day, the entrance is relocated furth...
  • 5.5band
    The chat show the percentage of sources in country during 1985 to 2003.
    The proportion of power consumed by various sources which depicted in pie chart. During the time period of 1985 to 2003. The data has been given in percentages. As regards Natural gas, setting of at 13% in 1985 and escalation by 10% in 2003. As far as Hydrogen, which was almost remain stable 4% in 1...
  • 5.5band
    Three different level of participation in education
    Three different level of participation in education by developing and industrialized countries in two different years were depicted by the graphs. To begin with, in 1980 there was a around 3 years of schooling in developing countries whereas approximately 8 years of schooling in Industrialised coun...
  • 5band
    The three pie charts show the proportion of yearly expenditures of a specific UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001
    The three pie charts show the proportion of yearly expenditures of a specific UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. It is easy to see that the majority of expenditures among the three years belonged to teachers’ salaries and the least spending was recorded by insurance. In 1981, the spending on teacher...





Get more results for topic:
  • Because of mobile phones, young people can usually contact a parent if they have a problem.