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barchart about the total number of trips made by children to and from school in one country per year using different modes of transport

barchart about the total number of trips made by children to and from school in one country per year using different modes of transport PWAnX
The bar chart illustrates the total number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. This shows the reduction in economic means of transport from 1990 to 2010. To begin with, the year 2010 as a significant increase in usage of people who take the car as their mode of transportation, it has almost tripled during those twenty years of gap. This shows the massive change in the trend of the economy. whereas, The total number of trips per year in walking, cycling, and using public buses as their mean of transport has shrunk down twice. There are some factors that affect these modes of transportations, the Removal of bicycle lanes from the streets, and the reduction in size of the sidewalks has caused people to take the traffic-less mode of transportation. As of now, people prefer their own mode of travelling in cars and bikes, which has enormously increased and also improves people's status of living. To summarize, with safety and luxury in mind, people who take their children aged 5-12 to and from school by car has been enormously increased throughout this period.
The bar chart illustrates the total number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of transport. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the reduction in
Did you mean "economical" (=affordable, cheap)?
economic
means of transport from 1990 to 2010.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the year 2010 as a significant increase in usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take the car as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of transportation, it has almost tripled during those twenty years of gap. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the trend of the economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, The total number of trips per year in walking, cycling, and using public buses as their mean of transport has shrunk down twice. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that affect these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of transportations, the Removal of bicycle lanes from the streets, and the reduction in size of the sidewalks has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take the traffic-less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of transportation. As of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of travelling in cars and bikes, which has
enormously
increased and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's status of living.

To summarize
, with safety and luxury in mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take their children aged 5-12 to and from school by car has been
enormously
increased throughout this period.
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IELTS academic barchart about the total number of trips made by children to and from school in one country per year using different modes of transport

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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