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Bar graph represent the data of water consumption

Bar graph represent the data of water consumption Kl5GR
The rendered bar graph is statistical representation which compares the information of water consumption among the dwellers of America, whether the preservation method is used or not. Measures are in gallons. Upon overall perspective it is manifested that americans, without water saving method consume the highest gallons of water in toilet, washing clothes and in bathing while lowest use for washing dishes. While looking deeper into the data it reveals that citizens who don't use water protection, use 19 gallons of water to flushing in toilet along with 15 gallons by washing machine and 13 gallons while taking shower. However netizens who use water caring methods, consume almost 20% less water for bathing and washing clothes. Moreover, more benefit shown in leakage, it clearly shows that preservation method drops the leakage to 50%, from 10 gallons(without saving) to 5 gallons ( with water saving). Furthermore, faucets use the identical amount of water by both method which is about 11 gallons.
The rendered bar graph is statistical representation which compares the information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption among the dwellers of America, whether the preservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
or not. Measures are in gallons.

Upon
overall
perspective it
is manifested
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
americans
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
consume the highest gallons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in toilet, washing clothes and in bathing while lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for washing dishes.

While looking deeper into the data it reveals that citizens who don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
protection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
19 gallons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to flushing in toilet along with
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
15 gallons
by washing machine and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
13 gallons
while taking shower.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
netizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, consume almost 20% less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for bathing and washing clothes.
Moreover
, more benefit shown in leakage, it
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that preservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
drops the leakage to 50%, from
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 gallons
(without saving) to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 gallons
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
saving).
Furthermore
, faucets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the identical amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
which is about
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
11 gallons
.
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IELTS academic Bar graph represent the data of water consumption

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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