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Bar graph exhibit the information about the production and consumption of electricity

Bar graph exhibit the information about the production and consumption of electricity EwVe3
The following bar graph exhibits the information about the production and consumption of electricity of top ten nations of the world in year 2014. The data has been calibrated in billion KWH. It is clearly seen from the given bar graph that the China used maximum electric power as well produces more electric energy as compared to other empires in year 2014 which was calculated as 5, 398 and 5322 billion KWH respectively. However, Russia had pruduced, likewise utilised equal amount of electricity. Considering the remaining part of the bar graph that Korea consumed and produced very less electricity rather than other countries which was recorded at 449. 5 and 485. 1 billion KWH whereas, Brazil and Germany used same amount of electricity in the year 2014 and that was noted as 526. 6 and 530. 7 billion KWH respectively. To receptulate, the China had produced and consumed more electricity as compared to other nations.
The following bar graph exhibits the information about the production and consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
of top ten nations of the world in year 2014. The data has
been calibrated
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
KWH. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph that the China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
maximum electric power
as well
produces more electric energy as compared to other empires in year 2014 which
was calculated
as 5, 398 and 5322
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
KWH
respectively
.
However
, Russia had
Possible spelling mistake found.
pruduced
,
likewise
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
equal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
. Considering the remaining part of the bar graph that Korea consumed and produced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
rather
than other countries which
was recorded
at 449. 5 and 485. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
KWH whereas, Brazil and Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in the year 2014 and that
was noted
as 526. 6 and 530. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
KWH
respectively
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
receptulate
, the China had produced and consumed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
as compared to other nations.
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IELTS academic Bar graph exhibit the information about the production and consumption of electricity

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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