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smoking between male and femele

smoking between male and femele nXboE
Presented line graph depict the proportions of smoking among males and females in somaliland from 1960 till 2000. It is obvious from the graph that smoking among the men fell steadily in all the period of time and we can see from graph that smoking among women have a somewhat growth over the period. Initially, there weren't considerable changes among men, However in the middle of the period these rates decreased rapidly from 450 till 250. It is essential to mention that male's rates never increased and only declined. Ifr i express females' proportions on smoking, there was a visible fluctuation in the index of women. Between 1960 and 1975, it witnessed considerable variation and went uo untill almost 300 rate. Unfortunately after that it began to decrease steadily
Presented line graph depict the proportions of
smoking
among males and females in
somaliland
from 1960 till 2000
. It is obvious from the graph that
smoking
among the
men
fell
steadily
in all the period of
time and
we can
see
from graph that
smoking
among women have a
somewhat growth
over the period.
Initially
, there weren't considerable
changes
among
men
,
However
in the middle of the period these rates decreased
rapidly
from 450 till 250
. It is essential to mention that male's rates never increased and
only
declined.
Ifr
i
express females' proportions on
smoking
, there was a visible fluctuation in the index of women. Between 1960 and 1975, it witnessed considerable variation and went
uo
untill
almost 300 rate. Unfortunately after that it began to decrease
steadily
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IELTS academic smoking between male and femele

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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