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Bar chart show the expenditure of two countries on 5 goods.

Bar chart show the expenditure of two countries on 5 goods. d5MDE
The chart illustrates the expenditures of two different countries england and france on five goods (cars, computers, books, perfums and cameras) in 2010. units are measured in pounds sterling. Overall, uk is spending more money in buying different commodities comparative to france. On the other hand, both britian and france are doing more expenses in purchasing cars whereas england is doing least expenditure in buying perfumes as of the france in cameras. furthermore, most significant difference in buying camera between two countries is shown in chart. In terms of cars, The people in uk spend about £450000 on this on the other side individuals in france expensed £400000. Similarly, British spend exactly £350000 on buying computers where french expenditure was slightly more than £350000. In the uk, the expenditure on books were slightly higher than france (around £400000 and £300000 exactly). Moving forward, neither of the country spent much on buying perfumes. french accounted for exactly £200000 whereas british slightly less than £150000. Surprisingly, doubled of amount spent in uk on cameras as that of france (slightly more than £350000 and only 150000).
The chart illustrates the
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expenditures
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
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england
and
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france
on five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
(cars, computers, books,
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perfums
and
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cameras)
in 2010.
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units
are measured
in pounds sterling.

Overall
,
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uk
is spending more money in
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buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
commodities comparative to
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
.
On the other hand
, both
Possible spelling mistake found.
britian
and
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france
are doing more expenses in purchasing cars whereas
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england
is doing
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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expenditure
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
perfumes as of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, most significant difference in
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
between two countries
is shown
in chart.

In terms of cars, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
spend about £450000 on this on the other side individuals in
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france
expensed £400000.
Similarly
, British spend exactly £350000 on
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buying
computers where french
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expenditure
was
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slightly
more than £350000. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on books were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
higher than
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
(around £400000 and £300000 exactly).

Moving forward, neither of the country spent much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
perfumes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
french
accounted for exactly £200000 whereas
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
less than £150000.
Surprisingly
, doubled of amount spent in
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
as that of
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
(
slightly
more than £350000 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
150000).
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IELTS academic Bar chart show the expenditure of two countries on 5 goods.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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