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Bar chart of Scotland's export

Bar chart of Scotland's export yjXr
The given bar chart presents information on exports by various industries in Scotland to rest of the United Kingdom and rest of the world in 2014. Overall, services to businesses, hotels and restaurants contributed the most to the region’s exports to rest of the world while chemicals and mineral products industry was the largest exporter to rest of the United Kingdom. Scotland’s exports to rest of the world were mostly from the business, finance and hotels services industry followed by chemicals and mineral products, and wholesale and retail. Food and drink manufacturing, and other manufacturing earned almost the same revenue of 5. 9 billion pounds from exports. Electrical and instrument engineering, with 2. 3 billion pounds revenue, made the least contribution to exports. The region’s exports to rest of the United kingdom were dominated by chemicals and mineral products with 5. 0 billion pounds of revenue. This was closely followed by food and drink manufacturing, and electrical and instrument engineering. Agriculture, forestry, fishing and mining made the least contribution to Scotland’s exports to rest of the United Kingdom.
The
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given
bar chart presents information on
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exports
by various industries in Scotland to
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rest
of the
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United
Kingdom and
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rest
of the world in 2014.

Overall
, services to businesses, hotels and restaurants contributed the most to the region’s
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exports
to
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rest
of the world while chemicals and mineral
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "products'" or "product's"?
products
industry was the largest exporter to
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rest
of the
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United
Kingdom.

Scotland’s
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exports
to
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rest
of the world were
mostly
from the business, finance and hotels services industry followed by chemicals and mineral products, and wholesale and retail. Food and drink manufacturing, and other manufacturing earned almost the same revenue of 5. 9 billion pounds from
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exports
. Electrical and instrument engineering, with 2. 3 billion pounds revenue, made the least contribution to exports.

The region’s
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exports
to
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rest
of the
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
were dominated
by chemicals and mineral products with 5. 0 billion pounds of revenue. This was
closely
followed by food and drink manufacturing, and electrical and instrument engineering. Agriculture, forestry, fishing and mining made the least contribution to Scotland’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom.
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IELTS academic Bar chart of Scotland's export

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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