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Bar chart of both genres students.

Bar chart of both genres students. QV3lP
The bar chart illustrates the figures of both genres studying ans researching in different disciplines in United Kingdom during 2009. It is obvious that men were outnumbered women almost in all specialities except veterinary medicine that women were superior. The chart shows that women were attracted to the disciplines wich concerned about living objects such as Medicine, Biology, Veterinary Medicine, On the other hand, men were concerned about studying inanimate objects such as Physics, Geology, Astronomy.
The bar chart illustrates the figures of both genres studying ans researching in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disciplines
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
during 2009.

It is obvious that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were outnumbered
women almost in all specialities except veterinary medicine that women were superior.

The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that women
were attracted
to the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "disciplines'" or "discipline's"?
disciplines
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
concerned about living objects such as Medicine, Biology, Veterinary Medicine,
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were concerned
about studying inanimate objects such as Physics, Geology, Astronomy.
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IELTS academic Bar chart of both genres students.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
76 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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