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bar chart ielts task 1 about the export earnings in years 2015 and 2016

bar chart ielts task 1 about the export earnings in years 2015 and 2016 PM3VB
The bar chart compares export earnings of 5 different categories (petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, argiculutral products and textiles) between the years 2015 and 2016 in a specific country. Units are measured in billions of dolars. Overall, All categories' exports increased in 2016 except for gems and jewelery. Textiles exports experinced the greatest rise. However, Argiculutral products have the lowest increasement. Textiles exports earnings was about $25 billion in 2015, but in 2016 it reached over $30 billion, that's approximately %15 increase. In the same pattern, engineered goods increased by %8. 5 which is about $4 billion. Moreover, petroluem products also increased, but by only 3%. On the other hand, argicultural exports earnings almost haven't changed. While gems and jewellery export earnings actually decreased from about $43 billion to only about $41 billion, about 5% decrease rate.
The bar chart compares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
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earnings
of 5
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different
categories (petroleum
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products
, engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
argiculutral
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products
and textiles) between the years 2015 and 2016 in a specific country. Units
are measured
in
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billions
of
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dolars
.

Overall
, All categories'
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exports
increased in 2016
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
gems and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelery
. Textiles
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exports
Possible spelling mistake found.
experinced
the greatest rise.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Argiculutral
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products
have the lowest
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasement
.

Textiles
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exports
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earnings
was about $25
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billion
in 2015,
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but
in 2016 it reached over $30
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billion
, that's approximately %15 increase. In the same pattern, engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
increased by %8. 5 which is about $4
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billion
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
petroluem
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products
also
increased,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
argicultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
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earnings
almost haven't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. While gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
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earnings
actually decreased from about $43
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billion
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about $41
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, about 5% decrease rate.

IELTS academic bar chart ielts task 1 about the export earnings in years 2015 and 2016

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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