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bar chart comparison for 2015 and 2016

bar chart comparison for 2015 and 2016 QR5dw
The chart represents the difference in value of exports of a Country in various categories, as of the years 2015 and 2016. As a whole, the graph tells us that 2016 has witnessed an increase in exports, and only Gems and Jewelry have incurred losses of about a percentage of 5. 18%. On the other hand Textiles have had a fabulous run gaining a percentage of over 15. 24% in 2016 compared to that of 2015, followed by Engineering goods, Petroleum products and Agricultural products each showing a positive percentage difference of 8. 5%, 3% and 0. 81 % respectively. Though Textile has increased its export, in terms of the Export Earnings still stands last, which seems to the story even of the Agricultural Products. Petroleum as Expected along with Engineered goods stand at the top of the Earnings with almost 60 billion US dollars Per Annum, while Gems and jewelry seemed to able to catch up to our Petroleum and Engineering Giants in 2015, its earnings in 2016 have dipped by a very light margin, making us think Otherwise.
The chart represents the difference in value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
of a Country in various categories, as of the years 2015 and 2016.

As a whole, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that 2016 has witnessed an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Gems and Jewelry have incurred losses of about a percentage of 5. 18%.

On the other hand
Textiles have had a fabulous run gaining a percentage of over 15. 24% in 2016 compared to that of 2015, followed by Engineering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, Petroleum products and Agricultural products each showing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
percentage difference of 8. 5%, 3% and 0. 81 %
respectively
.

Though Textile has increased its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
, in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Export
Earnings
still
stands last, which seems to the story even of the Agricultural Products.

Petroleum as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Expected
along with Engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
stand at the top of the Earnings with almost 60 billion US dollars Per Annum, while Gems and jewelry seemed
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
to catch up to our Petroleum and Engineering Giants in 2015, its earnings in 2016 have dipped by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
light margin, making us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Otherwise
.
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IELTS academic bar chart comparison for 2015 and 2016

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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