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bar chart - children sport activity

bar chart - children sport activity YwrRm
The bar chart shows the type of activities 5 to 14 - year -olds in Australia choose to participate in their spare time. The chart includes 5 categories and provides information on boys and girls separetly. It is clear from the chart that for both boys and girls the most popular and the most universal type of activity is watching TV/videos, 100 percents of girls and boys sometmes do that. However, in all other categories we can observe a gender based difference. Boys are more likely to play computer games as well as they more often devote their time on outdoor actvities such as "bike riding" and "skateboarding/rollerblading". 80% percents of boys decide to spend time in front of their laptops in comparison with 60% girls. Girls, on the contrary, more often choose art and craft for their leasure time. More than a half of girls choose this persuit while it applies only to 40% of boys.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the type of activities 5 to 14
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
year -olds in Australia choose to participate in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The chart includes 5 categories and provides information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
Possible spelling mistake found.
separetly
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
the most popular and the most universal type of activity is watching TV/videos, 100 percents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
Possible spelling mistake found.
sometmes
do that.
However
, in all other categories we can observe a gender based difference.

Boys are more likely to play computer games
as well
as they more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
devote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on outdoor
Possible spelling mistake found.
actvities
such as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
bike riding
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
skateboarding/rollerblading
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. 80% percents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
decide to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of their laptops
in comparison
with 60% girls.

Girls,
on the contrary
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose art and craft for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. More than a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose this
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuit
while it applies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
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IELTS academic bar chart - children sport activity

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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