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Bar Chart & Marriage & Divorce

Bar Chart & Marriage & Divorce 96jJW
The bar chart depicts marriage and divorce rates in the USA for the years 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000. This is accompanied by another bar chart illustrating the percentage of American adults who were married, never married, widowed and divorced in the years 1970 and 2000. As it can be seen from the bar chart, in the year 1970 there were 2. 5 million marriages and 1 million divorced people in the USA. In the next decade, the total number of married people remained the same as in the previous decade, however, the divorce rates were increased by 0. 4 million compared to 1970. In the year 1990, marriages decreased in number by 0. 25 million in comparison to the last two consecutive decades, likewise, divorce rates also dropped down to just above 1 million as compared to 1. 4 million in 1980. In 2000, there were 2 million married and 1 million divorced people in the USA In 1970, 70% of adults were married, 12% of the total adults, never married and 5% of widowed adults were present and a very negligible percentage of adults were divorced. On the other hand in 2000, the married population dipped by 10% in addition, 20% of adults never married and nearly 20% of divorced in 2000 as compared to the year 1970.
The bar chart depicts marriage and divorce rates in the USA for the years 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000. This
is accompanied
by another bar chart illustrating the percentage of American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who
were married
, never married, widowed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorced
in the years 1970 and 2000.

As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar chart, in the
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year
1970 there were 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
marriages and 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the USA. In the
next
decade, the total number of married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remained the same as in the previous decade,
however
, the divorce rates
were increased
by 0. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
compared to 1970. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990, marriages decreased in number by 0. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in comparison
to the last two consecutive decades,
likewise
, divorce rates
also
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
as compared to 1. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1980. In 2000, there were 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
married and 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
USA


In 1970, 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were married
, 12% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, never married and 5% of widowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were present and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
negligible percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorced
.
On the other hand
in 2000, the married population dipped by 10%
in addition
, 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
never married and
nearly
20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorced
in 2000 as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1970.
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IELTS academic Bar Chart & Marriage & Divorce

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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