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bar chart about universities

bar chart about universities wn9El
The table depicts the outcome of surveys conducted regarding McGill University on 5 different categories in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Overall, it is clear from data that range of modules offered was the field remained lowest in all 3 years. University student services got highest percentage in 2015, whereas, library resources rated consistently well in remaining 2 years. Furthermore, range of modules offered by McGill University were initially 39% in 2005 which got poorer in each year with a steady drop to 31% in 2010 and 25% in 2015 though, remained the lowest rating. In contrary, student services have a drastic increase from 54% in 2005 to 95% in 2015. As per sports and social facilities of University is concerned according to students it maintained it services to 65% in all years. Moreover, Ratings for teaching quality and library resources showed good results despite of slight fluctuation in 2005. Student voted teaching quality 74% which had a 2% decrease in 2010 and then 6% increase to 78% in 2015. Whereas, library resources was stable in between 86% to 88% in mentioned 3 years.
The table depicts the outcome of surveys conducted regarding McGill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
on 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories in 2005, 2010 and 2015.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from data that range of modules offered was the field remained lowest in all 3 years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
percentage in 2015, whereas, library resources rated
consistently
well in remaining 2 years.

Furthermore
, range of modules offered by McGill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
were
initially
39% in 2005 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
poorer in each year with a steady drop to 31% in 2010 and 25% in 2015 though, remained the lowest rating. In contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
services have a drastic increase from 54% in 2005 to 95% in 2015. As per sports and social facilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is concerned
according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
it maintained it services to 65% in all years.

Moreover
, Ratings for teaching quality and library resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
slight fluctuation in 2005.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
voted teaching quality 74% which had a 2% decrease in 2010 and then 6% increase to 78% in 2015.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, library resources was stable in between 86% to 88% in mentioned 3 years.
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IELTS academic bar chart about universities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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