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Average percentage of nutrients taken in US

Average percentage of nutrients taken in US L9kdp
The below three diagrams indicate the amount of nutrients taken by the American citizens. It has been divided into three categories which are sodium, saturated fat and lastly added sugar. These nutrients are essential for human body but if they are consumed more than limited amount, it will will effect human body and behavior. In the 1st chart, the highest amount of sodium which is 43% is consumed in breakfast followed by lunch which is 29%. Furthermore, dinner and snacks contain the same amount of sodium which is slightly half of the amount from lunch. The of saturated fat has been displayed in the 2nd chart. Breakfast includes the highest percentage of saturated fat which is 37% followed by lunch, snacks and dinner which include 26%, 21% and 16% respectively. From the 3rd chart, you can see really huge amount of sugar has been added in snacks which is 42%. Moreover, the corresponding consumption of sugar drops from breakfast, lunch and to dinner which are 23%, 19% and 23 respectively. In conclusion, large amount of nutrients have be taken mostly in breakfast. Furthermore the sugar intake is quite excessive and it will great if people can reduce the amount to maintain the healthy body.
The below three diagrams indicate the
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amount
of nutrients taken by the American citizens. It has
been divided
into three categories which are sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
lastly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. These nutrients are essential for human body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they
are consumed
more than limited
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amount
, it
Possible typo: you repeated a word
will will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
human body and behavior.

In the 1st chart, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of sodium which is 43%
is consumed
in
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breakfast
followed by lunch which is 29%.
Furthermore
, dinner and snacks contain the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of sodium which is
slightly
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
from lunch.

The of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
has
been displayed
in the 2nd chart.
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Breakfast
includes the highest percentage of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
which is 37% followed by lunch, snacks and dinner which include 26%, 21% and 16%
respectively
.

From the 3rd chart, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
really
huge
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in snacks which is 42%.
Moreover
, the corresponding consumption of
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sugar
drops from
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breakfast
, lunch and to dinner which are 23%, 19% and 23
respectively
.

In conclusion
, large
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amount
of nutrients have
be taken
mostly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake is quite excessive and it
The word 'great' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will great
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
to maintain the healthy body.
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IELTS academic Average percentage of nutrients taken in US

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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