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The changes in a coastal village between the years 1980 till 2010

The changes in a coastal village between the years 1980 till 2010 bb1RQ
The diagrams illustrate the coastal village of Seaville between the years 1980 till 2010. In the beginning, the fist map shows, Woodland in the North-West of the village in 1920 which was replaced with Golf course in 2010. Towards the West coast of the village, the Marsh, Holiday cottages were replaced with Permanent houses with more residential facilities being made available. Towards the East of the district, there is a river flowing across towards South of the village. A curvy-round shaped road has been made across the river leading to the empty center of the village. In the center of the village, A retirement village with a Boat club has been made near the river for the tourists and local people. There had been a tea room with Sand dunes, these have been replaced with a huge hotel and a restaurant close to the South coast of the village. Towards South-East close to the East bank, Holiday cottages have been made for more accommodation facilities for the tourists and the local people living there.
The diagrams illustrate the coastal
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village
of
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Seaville
between the years 1980 till 2010. In the beginning, the fist map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, Woodland in the North-West of the
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village
in 1920 which
was replaced
with Golf course in 2010. Towards the West coast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, the Marsh, Holiday cottages
were replaced
with Permanent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
with more residential facilities
being made
available.

Towards the East of the district, there is a river flowing across towards South of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
. A curvy-round shaped road has
been made
across the river leading to the empty center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
. In the center of the
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village
, A retirement
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village
with a Boat club has
been made
near the river for the tourists and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There had been a tea room with Sand dunes, these have
been replaced
with a huge hotel and a restaurant close to the South coast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
. Towards South-East close to the East bank, Holiday cottages have
been made
for more accommodation facilities for the tourists and the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living there.
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IELTS academic The changes in a coastal village between the years 1980 till 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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