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asfasdas das das das d asd as

asfasdas das das das d asd as 6lg03
In 2010 in a city of Scotland called Glasgow, the charts illustrate education level. There are three charts one shows bar chart of different age groups, additionally rest two pie chart shows difference in different sexuality. Overall, we can see 72% people has no educational qualification in the 75+ age group however, from 16-24, 24-35, 35-50 age group has more than 70% people with university degree. Additionally, among different sexual orientation the difference is almost similar. To start with, from ages 16-24, 24-35, 35-50 we can observe more people acquired university degree which is 71%, 76%, 71% respectively. Additionally, School Certificate holder and no qualification holder has similar pattern however, from age group 50-75 we can see university degree holder dips to 50%, and in age group 75+ majority of people holds no degree which is 72%. Additionally, in comparison with different sex, people with no educational qualification, school degree and university degree it is around 30%, 33% and 29% for women and 35%, 33%, 32% for men respectively. if we notice the pattern is almost similar for different sexuality however it is different for different age groups.
In 2010 in a city of Scotland called Glasgow, the
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charts
illustrate education level. There are three
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charts
one
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shows
bar
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chart
of
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different
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age
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groups
,
additionally
rest two pie
Possible agreement error. The noun 'chart' seems to be countable, so consider using: "charts".
chart
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shows
difference in
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different
sexuality.

Overall
, we can
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see
72%
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
no educational qualification in the 75+
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age
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group
however
, from 16-24, 24-35, 35-50
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age
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group
has more than 70%
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people
with
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university
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degree
.
Additionally
, among
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different
sexual orientation the difference is almost similar.

To
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start
with, from
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ages
16-24, 24-35, 35-50 we can observe more
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people
acquired
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university
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degree
which is 71%, 76%, 71%
respectively
.
Additionally
, School Certificate holder and no qualification holder has similar pattern
however
, from
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age
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group
50-75 we can
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see
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university
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degree
holder dips to 50%, and in
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age
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group
75+ majority of
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people
holds no
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degree
which is 72%.

Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Additionally
,
in comparison
with
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different
sex,
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people
with no educational qualification, school
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degree
and
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university
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degree
it is around 30%, 33% and 29% for women and 35%, 33%, 32% for
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men
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we notice the pattern is almost similar for
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different
sexuality
however
it is
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different
for
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
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IELTS academic asfasdas das das das d asd as

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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