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As you can see here this chart shows us an ordering process.

As you can see here this chart shows us an ordering process. pKoAL
As you can see here this chart shows us an ordering process. In fact it is common in most companies. Now I want to explain this chart. At first a customer orders the product and then, the part one if the customer be new he should create an new account for him, and if the customer be old and had account ther do not necessary crate neo account, and then the order is following and if the product or order had discount for old customer, the program considers it if the order does not discount the order entered into system and finally the order shipped and user get charged. In Summary, this system is very useful for customers, especially old users and for online shoppers. The process is very clear for both of them, the company and also for users.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
here this chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us an ordering process. In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, it".
fact it
is common in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this chart. At
first
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orders
the product and then, the part one if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
be new he should create
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
new account for him, and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and had account
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
do not necessary crate
Possible spelling mistake found.
neo
account, and then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
is following and if the product or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
had discount for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
, the program considers it if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
does not discount the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
entered into system and
finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
shipped and user
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
charged. In Summary, this system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
users and for online shoppers. The process is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for both of them, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
also
for users.
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IELTS academic As you can see here this chart shows us an ordering process.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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