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Are these things a major problem in London?

Are these things a major problem in London? Ddqa
The graphs reveal data of a survey that shows how Londoners feel about living in London by expressing the greatest and worst thing they face. The data also presents the ratio of these people who think litter, air quality and noise are some primary concerns. Generally speaking, freedom of shopping, employment and multicultural environment are the best things about London while costs, crime and mixture of races are the main hindrance of quality life in London, according to the survey takers. The bar graphs consider people’s opinion in three years regarding the paramount and poorest aspect of living in London. As is presented, the highest percentages of Londoners, roughly 42-45 percent, think that the range of shopping is the best thing they enjoy about London. Around 35% Londoners voted for job and cross-cultural citizens as main advantages. Night life, places to visit and transport facilities were picked by approximately 20-25% people in these years as the main attraction for dwelling in London. Living and housing costs, traffic jam and crime were picked by a significant percentage of people as the vilest thing about this city. Interestingly, while some people consider multicultural environment and transports as two main benefits of living in London, more than one third possess an opposite view. Crime was a great problem in the first year but over the time, fewer percentage of people showed their concern about it. Finally, garbage problem was mentioned by the highest ratio of people, 70-75% as a great concern in London while around 65% and 55% on an average considered air quality and noise to be a major problem for living in London.
The graphs reveal data of a survey that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how Londoners feel about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London by expressing the greatest and worst thing they face. The data
also
presents the ratio of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
litter, air quality and noise are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary concerns.
Generally
speaking, freedom of shopping, employment and multicultural environment are the best things about London while costs, crime and mixture of races are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
hindrance of quality life in London, according to the survey takers.

The bar graphs consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion in three years regarding the paramount and poorest aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London. As
is presented
, the highest percentages of Londoners, roughly 42-45 percent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the range of shopping is the best thing they enjoy about London. Around 35% Londoners voted for job and cross-cultural citizens as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
advantages.
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
Night life
, places to visit and transport facilities
were picked
by approximately 20-25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these years as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
attraction for dwelling in London.

Living and housing costs, traffic jam and crime
were picked
by a significant percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as the vilest thing about this city.
Interestingly
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider multicultural environment and transports as two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London, more than one third possess an opposite view. Crime was a great problem in the
first
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over the time, fewer percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their concern about it.

Finally
, garbage problem
was mentioned
by the highest ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, 70-75% as a great concern in London while around 65% and 55% on an average considered air quality and noise to be a major problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London.

IELTS academic Are these things a major problem in London?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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