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Answer about interpreting graph.

Answer about interpreting graph. DwxJj
People between the ages of 40 a 65 are the ones who work the most in the manufacturing sector. What people between the ages of 25 and 40 work at least in accountancy. People in the 18-25 age groups work more in agriculture than in law. The group of people between 18 and 25 years old work less in the field of education than in health. People between the age 25-40 work more in manufacturing sector than in the education sector.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 40 a 65 are the ones who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the most in the manufacturing sector. What
Did you mean "peoples"?
people
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 25 and 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at least in accountancy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the 18-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more in agriculture than in law. The group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between 18 and 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
less in the field of education than in health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
25-40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more in manufacturing sector than in the education sector.

IELTS academic Answer about interpreting graph.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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