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pie chart Highest level of education of women in someland -1945 until 1995

pie chart Highest level of education of women in someland -1945 until 1995 yLGld
The pie charts illustrate the quantity of the women's highest level of education in someland in a period of 50 years from 1945 until 1995. Overall, It could be seen that the percentage of educated women has increased during this period of time, which there was not any illiterate woman in 1995. Not only do woman studied more than previous, but also they reached to post graduate level in 1995. In 1945, the proportion of no schooling and third grade education levels were almost more than half of the community. However, the figures for no schooling individuals were decreased along this 50-year period and removed in 1995. 15% and 10% of women in 1945 just studied below year 6 and year 9, respectively. Although the proportion of year 6 level of education was null, the percentage of year 9 study level was constant at 10% in 1995. In 1995, the community divided into 4 groups regarding to their education levels. These are contained 20% for year 12, 10 % for year 9, 20% for post graduate, and 50% for the first degree. The appearance of post graduate and lack of below year 9 individuals is the most important point which could be obtained from these charts.
The pie charts illustrate the quantity of the women's highest
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level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
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someland
in a period of 50 years from 1945 until 1995.
Overall
, It could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentage of educated women has increased during this period of time, which there was not any illiterate woman in 1995. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do woman studied more than previous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they reached to post graduate
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level
in 1995. In 1945, the proportion of no schooling and third grade
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
were almost more than half of the community.
However
, the figures for no schooling individuals
were decreased
along this
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50-year
period and removed in 1995. 15% and 10% of women in 1945
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just
studied below
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year
6 and
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year
9,
respectively
. Although the proportion of
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year
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was null, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
9 study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
was constant at 10% in 1995. In 1995, the community divided into 4 groups
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
. These
are contained
20% for
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year
12, 10 % for
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year
9, 20% for post graduate, and 50% for the
first
degree. The appearance of post graduate and lack of below
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year
9 individuals is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point which could
be obtained
from these charts.
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IELTS academic pie chart Highest level of education of women in someland -1945 until 1995

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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