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Analyse the percentage of Australian men and women doing physical activities regularly.

Analyse the percentage of Australian men and women doing physical activities regularly. kekDM
The bar graph shows the variations in the percentage of Australian men and women doing physical activities regularly. It can be observed, that the women in the age group 45 to 54 have the highest percentage, that is 53. 3%, whereas it is the lowest in the age group of 65 and over. On the other hand, men in the 15 to 24 age group have the highest percentage value, and it is the lowest in the 35 to 44 age group. Talking about the men under the age group of 15 to 44, a gradual decrease can be observed that was from 52. 8% to 39. 5%. However, in the same age group, the percentage of women doing physical activities increased from 47. 7% to 52. 2%. As expressed above, there was a decrease in the percentage of males doing physical activities, but it went up slowly from the age group 45 to 54, to 65 and over. Further, the percentage of women in the same time frame went from 53. 3% to 47. 1%.
The bar graph
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shows
the variations in the
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percentage
of Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
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women
doing physical activities
regularly
.

It can
be observed
, that the
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women
in the
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age
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group
45 to 54 have the highest
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percentage
,
that is
53. 3%, whereas it is the lowest in the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 65 and over.
On the other hand
,
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men
in the 15 to 24
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age
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group
have the highest
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percentage
value, and it is the lowest in the 35 to 44
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age
group.

Talking about the
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men
under the
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age
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group
of 15 to 44, a gradual decrease can
be observed
that was from 52. 8% to 39. 5%.
However
, in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
doing physical activities increased from 47. 7% to 52. 2%.

As expressed above, there was a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of males doing physical activities,
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but
it went up
slowly
from the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
45 to 54, to 65 and over.
Further
, the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the same time frame went from 53. 3% to 47. 1%.
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IELTS academic Analyse the percentage of Australian men and women doing physical activities regularly.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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