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amount of cash that children's Charity fund in the America spend and received in year

amount of cash that children's Charity fund in the America spend and received in year NwAPm
The pie charts illustrate about the figure of cash that a children's charity fund in the America spend, and received in year. Overall, clearly show that total revenue income was more than expenditures that. The charity was got the highest revenue by the community contributions. The USA children Charity firm was the high amount spent on program events. In detail, the pic level of amount got by donated food camp, around 86. 5% while look at expense side, approximately 96% amount layout on organised event services. look at overall income, the government grant revenue only 0. 2 %, while program income rate was more than other income, 2. 2 % and 0. 4% separately. Investment income only 0. 2 % covered by charity. Investment and grant revenue approximately same amount. There were only two other expenditures, program service cost rate amount 48 times more than fundraising, 95. 8 % and 2. 6 % respectively. The child charity was expended only 1. 6 % on group's management and general.
The pie charts illustrate about the figure of cash that a children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
fund in the America spend, and received in year.

Overall
,
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was more than expenditures that. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
by the community contributions. The USA children
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Charity
firm was the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
spent on program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In detail, the pic level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by donated food camp, around 86. 5% while look at expense side, approximately 96%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
layout on
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
services.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
look
at
overall
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income
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
0. 2 %, while program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
rate was more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, 2. 2 % and 0. 4%
separately
. Investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
0. 2 % covered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
. Investment and grant
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revenue
approximately same amount.

There were
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only
two other expenditures, program service cost rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
48 times more than fundraising, 95. 8 % and 2. 6 %
respectively
. The child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
was expended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
1. 6 % on group's management and general.
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IELTS academic amount of cash that children's Charity fund in the America spend and received in year

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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