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THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PROPOTION OF INCOME SPENT ON FOUR COMMON ITEMS IN CHINA IN 1998.

THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PROPOTION OF INCOME SPENT ON FOUR COMMON ITEMS IN CHINA IN 1998. NwAVd
%THE TABULAR CHART REPRESNT THE PERCENTAGE OF EXPENDITURE ON FOUR COMMODITIES (FOOD, ELECTRNOICS, MUSIC AND VIDEOS) IN CHINA IN 1998. OVERALL, THE HIGHEST MONEY SPENT BY ELDER PEOPLE IS ON FOOD WHEREAS, THE YOUNGER PEOPLES SPEND MORE ON MUSIC. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, FOOD HAS THE HIGHEST EXPENDITURE BY ADULTS, GENTS AND LADIES AS 25%, 14% AND 39% RESPECTIVELY WHEREAS, EXPENDITURE BY CHILDRENS, BOYS AND GIRLS IS LOWER WITH 10%, 9% AND 11%. MOREOVER, ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENTS ELDER PEOPLE AND GIRLS SPENDS SIMILARLY OF 5%, CHILDREN SPEND MORE THAN OTHER WITH 23%, GENTS SPENDS TWICE OF ELDERS AND BOYS IS STATED AS 18% OF TOTAL. THE TABLE CHART FURTHER COLLATE, THAT MUSIC HAS LIKEWISE EXPENDITURE OF LADIES, GENTS, AND ABOVE 18 INDIVIDUALS IS 5%. HOWEVER, IT IS FLUCTUATED FOR REST OF GROUPS AS 39%, 38% AND 40% FOR BOYS, GIRLS AND ADOLESCENT RESPECTIVELY. FINALLY, VIDEOS IS ACCOUNTED BY ELDERLY 1%, FOR GENTS IT DOUBLES, WOMENS IT IS LESS THAN 1%, WHILE TODDLERS, YOUNG BOY AND GIRLS IS STATED AS 12%, 18%AND 17% ACCORDINGLY.
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%THE
TABULAR CHART
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REPRESNT
THE PERCENTAGE OF
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EXPENDITURE
ON FOUR COMMODITIES (FOOD,
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ELECTRNOICS
, MUSIC AND VIDEOS) IN CHINA IN 1998.

OVERALL
, THE HIGHEST MONEY SPENT BY ELDER
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PEOPLE
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
IS
ON FOOD WHEREAS, THE YOUNGER PEOPLES
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SPEND
MORE ON MUSIC.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
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SEEN
THAT, FOOD HAS THE HIGHEST
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EXPENDITURE
BY ADULTS,
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GENTS
AND LADIES AS 25%, 14% AND 39%
RESPECTIVELY
WHEREAS,
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EXPENDITURE
BY
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CHILDRENS
,
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BOYS
AND
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GIRLS
IS LOWER WITH 10%, 9% AND 11%.
MOREOVER
, ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENTS ELDER
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PEOPLE
AND
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GIRLS
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SPENDS
SIMILARLY
OF 5%, CHILDREN
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SPEND
MORE THAN OTHER WITH 23%,
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GENTS
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SPENDS
TWICE OF ELDERS AND
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BOYS
IS STATED
AS 18% OF TOTAL.

THE TABLE CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE, THAT MUSIC HAS
LIKEWISE
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EXPENDITURE
OF LADIES,
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GENTS
, AND ABOVE 18 INDIVIDUALS IS 5%.
HOWEVER
, IT
IS FLUCTUATED
FOR REST OF GROUPS AS 39%, 38% AND 40% FOR
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BOYS
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GIRLS
AND ADOLESCENT
RESPECTIVELY
.
FINALLY
, VIDEOS
IS ACCOUNTED
BY ELDERLY 1%, FOR
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GENTS
IT DOUBLES,
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WOMENS IT
IS LESS THAN 1%, WHILE TODDLERS, YOUNG
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BOY
AND
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GIRLS
IS STATED
AS 12%, 18%AND 17%
ACCORDINGLY
.
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IELTS academic THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PROPOTION OF INCOME SPENT ON FOUR COMMON ITEMS IN CHINA IN 1998.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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