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yearly expenditure of a school in the UK in the three different years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

yearly expenditure of a school in the UK in the three different years 1981, 1991 and 2001. 7P6Lb
The pie-charts illustrate alterations made in the yearly expenditure of a school in the United Kingdom from the year 1981 to 2001. Overall, during the course of three decades from 1981, the school spends most on the salaries of the teaching staff whereas lowest on the insurance. Although there has been growth in the expense of infrastructure like furniture and equipment, the gradual decrease in the expenditure especially in the payment of other working staff is also being observed during this tenure. With regards to the period between 1981 to 1991, there is a 10% decrease in furniture and equipment, an equal proportion of rise has been observed in the salaries of the teachers. We observe a percent increase in the funds spent on insurance and 5% on resources like books but a 6% decline in the other staff salaries. The spending on furniture and equipment and resources such as books were the same in 1981, which was 15% of the total amount. Whereas in 1991, more money was spent on resources than furniture and equipment, 20% and 5% respectively, but the reverse is true for the year 2001. 23% of the spending was for the purpose of buying furniture and equipment and only 9% of the amount for the resources like books. Starting from the year 1981 to 2001, the amount spent on insurance increased steadily.
The pie-charts illustrate alterations made in the yearly

expenditure of a school in the United Kingdom from the year 1981 to 2001.

Overall
, during the course of three decades from 1981, the school

spends most on the salaries of the teaching staff whereas lowest on the

insurance. Although there has been growth in the expense of infrastructure like

furniture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
, the gradual decrease in the expenditure
especially
in

the payment of other working staff is
also
being observed
during this tenure.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the period
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1981 and 1991".
between 1981 to 1991
, there is a 10% decrease

in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
, an equal proportion of rise has
been observed
in

the salaries of the teachers. We observe a percent increase in the funds spent

on insurance and 5% on resources like books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a 6% decline in the other staff

salaries.

The spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
and resources such as

books were the same in 1981, which was 15% of the total amount. Whereas in

1991, more money
was spent
on resources than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
, 20%

and 5%
respectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the reverse is true for the year 2001. 23% of the

spending was for the purpose of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
furniture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9%

of the amount for the resources like books. Starting from the year 1981 to 2001,

the amount spent on insurance increased
steadily
.
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IELTS academic yearly expenditure of a school in the UK in the three different years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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