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American people joined the different entertainment classes in different years.

American people joined the different entertainment classes in different years. j55B1
The information about numerous spare time activities's classes (movie, swimming, dancing and singing) which admission taken by American people in various three years like 2001, 2004 and 2010, is depicted by the rendered three pie charts. The data has been calibrated in percentage. Overall, it can be clearly seen that majority of USA folks interested to join in dancing classes in 2010. Whereas, minority masses were not keen on to entry in singing field in 2004 and swimming in 2010 also. To begin with, 78% American people curious to spend in dancing classes in 2010. Whilst, less proportion in swimming only 5%. In the same year, second relaxation activity was singing, it was a roughly quarter. Moving further about the movie classes 15% less zestful than singing. However, highest American dwellers were enthusiastic to join in dancing in 2001, which was very large proportion, 75%. Although, less numbers of international people was entry in watching a movie, 11%. Exactly two fifth percentage people egar to join in swimming class. Liner represent graph ahead, over the half just people was join in singing classes. Moving towards this charts, American people was spend in singing and watching a movie class in 2010, 5% and 26% respectively. Remarkably further, swimming classes was joined by American eagerly people, that was a just over the three quarter. Nearly half was in dancing.
The information about numerous spare time
Did you mean "activitie's" or "activities'"?
activities's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(movie
, swimming,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing)
which admission taken by American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various three years like 2001, 2004 and 2010,
is depicted
by the rendered three pie charts. The data has
been calibrated
in percentage.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that majority of USA folks interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in 2010. Whereas, minority masses were not keen on to entry in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
field in 2004 and swimming in 2010
also
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 78% American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
curious to spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in 2010. Whilst, less proportion in swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%. In the same year, second relaxation activity was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
, it was a roughly quarter. Moving
further
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
15% less zestful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
.
However
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
American dwellers were enthusiastic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
in 2001, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large proportion, 75%. Although,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun numbers is countable.
less
numbers of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was entry in watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, 11%. Exactly two fifth percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
egar
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
in swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Liner represent graph ahead, over the half
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. Moving towards
Did you mean "these"?
this
charts, American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
and watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in 2010, 5% and 26%
respectively
.
Remarkably
further
, swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
by American
eagerly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
three quarter
.
Nearly
half was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
.
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IELTS academic American people joined the different entertainment classes in different years.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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