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the procedure of the electricity production from a power plant which based on geothermal energy

the procedure of the electricity production from a power plant which based on geothermal energy xDD1a
The diagram below explains the procedure of the electricity production from a power plant which based on geothermal energy. Generally, there are several devices which are attached in order to support the mechanism of this power plant. To begin, the cold water as the main material pumped into a place called the injection well. In the following stage, as the water has been accumulated in that well, it will be passed into the production well through the hot rocks which is known as the geothermal zone. Furthermore, the hot water pumped back into the upward surface and reaching a device, namely the condenser. The water, then, will be steamed in order to empower the turbine. In the next step, while the turbine has been turned on, this component will become the source of power of the generator, a device that eventually produces electricity. Subsequently, the final product is ready to be distributed.
The diagram below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the procedure of the electricity production from a power plant which based on geothermal energy.

Generally
, there are several devices which
are attached
in order to support the mechanism of this power plant.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
as the main material pumped into a place called the injection well. In the following stage, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has
been accumulated
in that well, it will
be passed
into the production well through the hot rocks which
is known
as the geothermal zone.
Furthermore
, the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pumped back into the upward surface and reaching a device,
namely
the condenser. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, then, will
be steamed
in order to empower the turbine. In the
next
step, while the turbine has
been turned
on, this component will become the source of power of the generator, a device that
eventually
produces electricity.
Subsequently
, the final product is ready to
be distributed
.
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IELTS academic the procedure of the electricity production from a power plant which based on geothermal energy

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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