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Airport Visitors, 1995-2000 (millions of passengers per year)

Airport Visitors, 1995-2000 (millions of passengers per year) n1LWg
The bar chart presents the amount of people that visited New York through three major airports between 1995 - 2000. Overall, throughout the six year period the number of passengers using LaGuardia and Newark airports had an upward trend however John F. Kennedy airport users fluctuated. Over the years the most favored airport by passengers was LaGuardia. Elaborating the graph, it can be seen John F. Kennedy airport had about 26m travellers at the beginning, which then gradually increased to 48m in 1997 which was its peak. The number of passengers slightly dipped over the next 2 years to 32m but then spiked up to 44m. On the flip side, the number of passengers using LaGuardia started at 35m and marginally rose to 69m over the period, reaching its highest point and making it the most popular airport. LaGuardia was also used more than any other airport every year except 1997 where John F. Kennedy airport had about 4m more passengers. Lastly, looking at Newark airport, began with the least amount of travellers in 1995. The numbers increased remarkably for 2 years, reaching 41m in 1998. The numbers remained stable at 41m for the next 2years.
The bar chart presents the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that visited New York through three major
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airports
between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
1995 - 2000
.

Overall
, throughout the six
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year
period the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
using LaGuardia and Newark
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airports
had an upward trend
however
John F. Kennedy
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airport
users fluctuated. Over the years the most favored
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airport
by
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passengers
was LaGuardia.

Elaborating the graph, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
John F. Kennedy
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airport
had about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "26 m"
26m
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
at the beginning, which then
gradually
increased to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "48 m"
48m
in 1997 which was its peak. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
slightly
dipped over the
next
2 years to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "32 m"
32m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then spiked up to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "44 m"
44m
.

On the flip side, the
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number
of
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passengers
using LaGuardia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "35 m"
35m
and
marginally
rose to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "69 m"
69m
over the period, reaching its highest point and making it the most popular
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airport
. LaGuardia was
also
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used
more than any other
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airport
every
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year
except 1997 where John F. Kennedy
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airport
had about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "4 m"
4m
more passengers.

Lastly
, looking at Newark
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airport
, began with the least amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
in 1995. The
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numbers
increased
remarkably
for 2 years, reaching
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "41 m"
41m
in 1998. The
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numbers
remained stable at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "41 m"
41m
for the
next
2years.
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IELTS academic Airport Visitors, 1995-2000 (millions of passengers per year)

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
196 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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