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Accomodation in England and Wales

Accomodation in England and Wales KG9o1
This bar chart illustrates the percentage of the population who owned their living space and who rented in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. Overall a change in trend could be appreciated from a overwhelmingly rented accommodation in 1918 towards a predominantly owned in 2011. When you analyse the percentage of people who owned their property, it was lowest in 1918, at just above 20%. It is evident that a steady rise has ensued since then, up until 2001, where more than three fold rise is seen. As for the rental accommodation more than 75% of the population lived on temporary living spaces, which showed a steady decline over years, until reaching the nadi point at 30% in 2001. Marginal increase could be observed in 2011. This change of trend from rented to owned has been steady and the turning point came in 1971, when equal number of the population were owners as well as renters.
This bar chart illustrates the percentage of the population who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
their living space and who rented in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.

Overall
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in trend could
be appreciated
from
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
overwhelmingly
rented accommodation in 1918 towards a
predominantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
in 2011.

When you
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
their property, it was lowest in 1918, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20%. It is evident that a steady rise has ensued since then, up until 2001, where more than
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
three fold
Possible agreement error. The noun 'rise' seems to be countable, so consider using: "rises".
rise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

As for the rental accommodation more than 75% of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
on temporary living spaces, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a steady decline over years, until reaching the
Possible spelling mistake found.
nadi
point at 30% in 2001. Marginal increase could
be observed
in 2011.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of trend from rented to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
has been steady and the turning point came in 1971, when equal number of the population were owners
as well
as renters.
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IELTS academic Accomodation in England and Wales

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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