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A strange dream from my friend

A strange dream from my friend Jw8E6
My friend had got flu with stomachache. So he got to bed early last night. Usually he sleep in the basement so at the night nobody near his. Last night he had some strange dream and he told me his last night dream. A unite of the salmon fish attacked me and I want to against them. At the first they bit me and it was painful but I keep up. So I called my friend and I request support. After that I heard a blam and all the salmon were floting.
My friend had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
flu with stomachache.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to bed early last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Usually
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "sleeps", "slept".
sleep
in the basement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
nobody near his. Last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
he had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strange
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dream and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me his last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
dream.
Use "An" instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
A
unite of the salmon fish attacked me and I want to against them. At the
first
they bit me and it was painful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I called my friend and I request support. After that I heard a
Possible spelling mistake found.
blam
and all the salmon were
Possible spelling mistake found.
floting
.

IELTS academic A strange dream from my friend

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
92 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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