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a map of a public park in 1920 to today

a map of a public park in 1920 to today mWmOL
The two images demonstrate how the public park of Grange was viewed in 1920 and today. There was The two images illustrate the layout of a public park called Grage located in Arnold Avenue in 1920 and how the outlook has been surprisingly changed at present with modernization. In general, besides a few remained the same, there are significant development can be seen throughout the period and the park was gradually transformed into a well-developed place of entertainment with advanced facilities. The most notable change was the fountain which was dominating the center of the park has been replaced with a sizable rose garden surrounded by four seating on all rounds. The rose garden, situated in the northeast, has now been demolished, and a new cafe is erected. Also, the pond for water plants already given away to a widened area for a playground for kids in the northeast corner, while the southern area of the park has been modernized with an attractive water feature that pulled the glasshouse away. To the west side of the park where the stage for music concerts once stood, an amphitheater for the concert has been constructed removing the seating which was north and south edges. Whilst the rose garden of northern top and both entrances which were at north and south directions remain unchained while the rose garden stood at the southwest side is no longer visible now
The two images demonstrate how the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
of Grange
was viewed
in 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. There
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
was


The two images illustrate the layout of a public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grage
located in Arnold Avenue in 1920 and how the outlook has been
surprisingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
at present with modernization.

In general
,
besides
a few remained the same, there are significant development can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
throughout the period and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was
gradually
transformed into a well-developed place of entertainment with advanced facilities.

The most notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was the fountain which was dominating the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has
been replaced
with a sizable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
surrounded by four seating on all rounds. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
, situated in the northeast, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
been demolished
, and a new
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
is erected
.
Also
, the pond for water plants already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
away to a widened area for a playground for kids in the northeast corner, while the southern area of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has
been modernized
with an attractive water feature that pulled the glasshouse away. To the west side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
where the stage for music concerts once stood, an amphitheater for the concert has
been constructed
removing the seating which was north and south edges.

Whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
of northern top and both entrances which were at north and south directions remain unchained while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
stood at the southwest side is no longer visible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
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IELTS academic a map of a public park in 1920 to today

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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