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A hospital and the surrounding area

A hospital and the surrounding area 9BEwp
The given maps depict the changes which took place in an area around a hospital from 1960 to 2000. Overall, the major trend of the alterations is the construction and expansion of healthcare facilities. Meanwhile, other unrelated facilities disappeared or were reduced. Looking at the maps of 1960 and 1980, we can see that the hospital was the top-hand corner under a main road. At the same road, there was a shopping center located on the left of hospital. Then, Farmland and Carpark were put at the bottom left-hand and bottom right-hand corner respectively. In 1980, Shopping centre was converted by cancer centre and pharmacy. Beside, Farmland gave away to a nursing school. As shown in the chart, in the period from 1980 to 2000, Cancer was expanded towards bottom left-hand corner with triple size. In addition, the size of carpark and nursing school were constructed by a half. Pharmacy and hospital still remained unchanged within 20 years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps depict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which took place in an area around a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
from 1960 to 2000.

Overall
, the major trend of the alterations is the construction and expansion of healthcare facilities. Meanwhile, other unrelated facilities disappeared or were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Looking at the maps of 1960 and 1980, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
was the top-hand corner under a main road. At the same road, there was a shopping center located on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. Then, Farmland and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Carpark
were put
at the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-hand and bottom right-hand corner
respectively
. In 1980, Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was converted
by cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and pharmacy. Beside, Farmland gave away to a nursing school.

As shown in the chart, in the period from 1980 to 2000, Cancer
was expanded
towards bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-hand corner with triple size.
In addition
, the size of
Possible spelling mistake found.
carpark
and nursing school
were constructed
by a half. Pharmacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
still
remained unchanged within 20 years.
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IELTS academic A hospital and the surrounding area

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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