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The following bar graph illustrates us about the age profile of male and female cinema goer's in tear 2012 following paragraphs has summerised information of gin topic.

The following bar graph illustrates us about the age profile of male and female cinema goer's in tear 2012 following paragraphs has summerised information of gin topic. 2xEGb
The following bar graph illustrates us about the age profile of male and female cinema goer's in tear 2012 following paragraphs has summerised information of gin topic. To begin with, age group of children aged between 14-17 years are least interested in watching cinema both male and female shares common 7%. On the other hand teenagers aged between 18-24 years shows moderate interest by both genders 15%-16% respectively. Age group between 25-34 years adults and 35-49 years people has slight difference while female stands between 20-25% while male stands between 23%-25%. At last age group of 50 years and plus has major difference in both the genders male and female while male stands at 29% and females stands at 33%. To encapsulate, as we can see in the given bar graph intrest of watching cinema groups from childhood in both both genders. While after 50 years of age women still loves to go cinema than compared to male.
The following bar graph illustrates us about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
profile of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
goer's in tear 2012 following paragraphs has
Possible spelling mistake found.
summerised
information of gin topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of children aged between 14-17 years are least interested in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
both male and
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female
shares common 7%.
On the other hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
aged between 18-24 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
moderate
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
both genders 15%-16%
respectively
.

Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
between 25-34 years adults and 35-49 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
slight difference while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
between 20-25% while male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
between 23%-25%. At last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 50 years and plus has major difference in both the genders male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
while male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
at 29% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
at 33%.

To encapsulate, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
from childhood in
Possible typo: you repeated a word
both both
genders.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
after 50 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
women
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
than compared to male.

IELTS academic The following bar graph illustrates us about the age profile of male and female cinema goer's in tear 2012 following paragraphs has summerised information of gin topic.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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