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The chart below shows the number of people (in millions) using phones of 3 major mobile phone companies in Montreal between 2010 and 2015.

The chart below shows the number of people (in millions) using phones of 3 major mobile phone companies in Montreal between 2010 and 2015. R2kaY
The line graph represents usage of cellphones by a plethora of individuals of 3 giant mobile phone industries in Montreal from 2010 to 2015 and data is provided in millions. Overall, it can be elucidated that throughout the five years Apple and Nokia mobile phones saw an inclined trend while Samsung phones were least prefered by individuals in Montreal. Initially, in 2010, Apple and Nokia cell phones were used by 35 and 16 million dwellers of Montreal city. After that, Nokia received an overwhelming rise by reaching at 42 million users in the time span of 2 years, which remained stagnant for another two years by 2015. Likewise, Apple gradually soared during each consequent years by acheiving 50 million users in 2014 and drastically boomed at 68 million users in merely one year by 2015. On the other hand, Samsung had 26 million mobile phone users in 2010 which substantially peaked at 47 million in 2012, but by 2014 it saw a considerable downfall in mobile phone users reducing to 32 million. Lastly, Samsung mobile phones also attained a marginal growth and reached at 44 in 2015.
The line graph represents usage of cellphones by a plethora of individuals of 3 giant mobile
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phone
industries in Montreal from 2010 to 2015 and data
is provided
in millions.

Overall
, it can
be elucidated
that throughout the five years Apple and Nokia mobile
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phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an inclined trend while Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
were least
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
by individuals in Montreal.

Initially
, in 2010, Apple and Nokia cell
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phones
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by 35 and 16
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million
dwellers of Montreal city. After that, Nokia received an overwhelming rise by reaching at 42
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million
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users
in the time span of 2 years, which remained stagnant for another two years by 2015.
Likewise
, Apple
gradually
soared during each consequent years by
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheiving
50
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million
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users
in 2014 and
drastically
boomed at 68
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million
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users
in
merely
one
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year
by 2015.

On the other hand
, Samsung had 26
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million
mobile
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phone
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users
in 2010 which
substantially
peaked at 47
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million
in 2012,
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but
by 2014 it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable downfall in mobile
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phone
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users
reducing to 32
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million
.
Lastly
, Samsung mobile
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phones
also
attained a marginal growth and reached at 44 in 2015.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of people (in millions) using phones of 3 major mobile phone companies in Montreal between 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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