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Describe your dream workplace. v.1

Describe your dream workplace. v. 1
Describe your dream workplace. You should say: what it would look like what facilities it would have where it would be and say if you think you will ever work in a place like that or not. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ] Model Answer: Up until recently, I have always felt that the nature of a workplace doesn’t necessarily affect the speed and spirit of a worker. But, I had to change my mind about it after visiting an “ideal” workplace of my friend the other day. Anyway, while the experience of visiting this extraordinary workplace of my friend was remarkable, I would like to describe my own “dream” workplace here. My dream workplace would preferably be located nearby a lake and surrounded by trees. I would also like it to be at one of the top floors and, geographically close to everything except, of course, the unnecessary traffic congestion and noise. My office should also have two desks - one would be facing away from a large glass window (from where the lake is visible) so that I could interact with the people who come to visit me. The other desk, on which, I would have my computers, printers, and the other essentials, would be placed against a wall (or maybe even a corner of a small hallway) where the real work would get done.   A couch, of course, would face the lake, but rotate to face the flat-screen TV,   scratch that. The Couch faces the lake, and when I want to watch TV, the window is covered by a drop-down wall with the TV inside of it. I'd also have a bed so that I could stay the night comfortably when necessary. Other facilities at my dream workplace may also include a kitchen, a gym, and a large open space in which we could sing “karaoke”. Anyway, even though I am an “average” professional, I do dream that one day, I would be able to work in such a dream workplace, which I just described above. And, all I need to do for that is to convince my company about the benefits of having such a workplace. But, even if that opportunity is never arranged for me by others, I would certainly try my best to create one myself when I start my own business sometimes in the distant future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
. You should say: what it would look like what facilities it would have where it would be and say if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you will ever work in a place like that or not. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Model Answer: Up until recently, I have always felt that the nature of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
doesn’t
necessarily
affect the speed and spirit of a worker.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my mind about it after visiting an “ideal”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
of my friend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
day.
Anyway
, while the experience of visiting this extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
of my friend was remarkable, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“dream”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
here.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
would
preferably
be located
nearby a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
and surrounded by trees. I would
also
like it to be at one of the top floors and,
geographically
close to everything except,
of course
, the unnecessary traffic congestion and noise. My office should
also
have two desks
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one would be facing away from a large glass window (from where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
is visible)
so
that I could interact with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit me. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
desk, on which, I would have my computers, printers, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essentials, would
be placed
against a wall (or maybe even a corner of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hallway) where the real work would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
done.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
A couch,
of course
, would face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rotate to face the flat-screen TV,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
scratch that. The Couch faces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
, and when I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, the window
is covered
by a drop-down wall with the TV
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
it. I'd
also
have a bed
so
that I could stay the night
comfortably
when necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
facilities at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
may
also
include a kitchen, a gym, and a large open space in which we could sing “karaoke”.

Anyway
,
even though
I am an “average” professional, I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
that one day, I would be able to work in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
, which I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. And, all I need to do for
that is
to convince my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
about the benefits of having such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, even if that opportunity is never arranged for me by others, I would
certainly
try my best to create one myself when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in the distant future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe your dream workplace. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
3 paragraphs
427 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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