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Describe something you did for the first time and enjoyed. v.1

Describe something you did for the first time and enjoyed. v. 1
Describe something you did for the first time and enjoyed. You should say: what it was when it was what you did and explain why it was something you enjoyed so much. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: Something I have experienced for the first time and was fascinated about? Well, it happened to me so many times and in fact, our life is exciting and unpredictable because it keeps surprising us. Thank you very much for the opportunity to let me talk about one such experience. A few years ago, I was travelling to Spain alone and this was the third time for me to travel out of my country and the first time a solo trip to such a long distance. I am not a frequent air traveller and take-off and landing of the plane give me an uncomfortable feeling that I am yet to get accustomed to. However, during my flight to Spain, I got a window seat and the experience of flying above the cloud and seeing the whole city from almost 10 thousand feet above the ground was captivating and something quite new for me. Since I was alone and the flight was at night, I spent most of my time reading a book on my ebook reader or looked outside through the window. As usual, I was a bit nervous when the plane started its journey and went high in the sky. But I soon forget about my uncomfortable feelings when I looked outside and was thrilled to look at the distant city that I have just left. From above, it looked like a small land filled with many lights, perhaps comparable to fireflies, and the experience of looking at it was something surreal. The same feeling returned when it was almost the time to land on the Madrid Airport and I could see a range of illuminated areas which, to me, seems like some lively pictures that came to reality like the computer animation. Large buildings were nothing more than a few dots and the whole city seemed like a great work of an artist who knew how to place them! I could hear the safety announcement by a cabin crew but I was so busy perceiving and enjoying the view that hardly any word of the announcement reached my ear. I was, as if, turned in to a small baby trying to figure out how a butterfly could fly or a fish can swim. I was so overwhelmed with it that I returned to reality when people were rushing to the exit door which means the plane had safely landed and I did not worry about the uncomfortable feelings of landing even for a second.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
you did for the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and enjoyed. You should say: what it was when it was what you did and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
you enjoyed
so
much. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

Something I have experienced for the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
was fascinated
about?
Well
, it happened to me
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and in fact, our life is exciting and unpredictable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
surprising us. Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much for the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me talk about one such experience.

A few years ago, I was travelling to Spain alone and this was the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for me to travel out of my country and the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a solo trip to such a long distance. I am not a frequent air
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
and take-off and landing of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
give me an uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
that I am
yet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to.
However
, during my flight to Spain, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a window seat and the experience of flying above the cloud and seeing the whole city from almost 10 thousand feet above the ground was captivating and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
quite new for me.

Since I was alone and the flight was at night, I spent most of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading a book on my
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebook
reader or looked outside through the window. As usual, I was a bit nervous when the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
its journey and went high in the sky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
forget about my uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
when I looked outside and
was thrilled
to look at the distant city that I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.

From above, it looked like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
land filled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lights, perhaps comparable to fireflies, and the experience of looking at it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
surreal. The same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
returned when it was almost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to land on the Madrid Airport and I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a range of illuminated areas which, to me, seems like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lively pictures that came to reality like the computer animation. Large buildings were nothing more than a few dots and the whole city seemed like a great work of an artist who knew how to place them!

I could hear the safety announcement by a cabin crew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was
so
busy perceiving and enjoying the view that hardly any word of the announcement reached my ear. I was, as if, turned in to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
baby trying to figure out how a butterfly could
fly
or a fish can swim.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was
so
overwhelmed with it that I returned to reality when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were rushing to the exit door which means the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
had
safely
landed and I did not worry about the uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
of landing even for a second.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS speaking Describe something you did for the first time and enjoyed. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
488 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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