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Describe something interesting that happened in your school. v.1

Describe something interesting that happened in your school. v. 1
Describe something interesting that happened in your school. You should say: what event it was how old you were then who were there and explain what was interesting about it. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: I have had the opportunity to enjoy many fun and interesting events when I was attending elementary and high schools as a young boy. I really like this particular cue card topic because it has allowed me to recall one such interesting thing, which happened about 10/11 years ago when I was about 13 years old. I was lucky to have attended a great high school, not only because of its great educational curriculum but also because of its great location. In fact, it was located in between a big lake on one side and a big, beautiful “Mahogany” garden on the other. Apart from its interesting and attractive surroundings, my high school also used to attract some beautiful “guest birds” every winter from thousands of miles away, probably from other countries. Of course, we were already used to seeing the activities of these birds every winter, playing in our school lake and the big, empty playground behind our school, but it was different during one winter. In fact, in that winter, we could see some video cameramen and journalists, probably invited by our school authority, were trying to film and photograph the visiting birds. It became even more fun and interesting for us as we were also allowed to be filmed and photographed with them in action. We also noticed with pleasant surprise that the birds were acting like as if they were also enjoying our attention while also eating our food! Many of us even tried to count how many birds were actually there, visiting our school, but they soon found out that there were just too many to count! Anyway, “expedition into the world of the guest birds”, as we called it, was indeed one of the most interesting experiences of my life, as it allowed me to interact with some of the most unique and beautiful birds up until then as a young boy. Besides, showing my pictures in action with the birds, along with other friends of mine, on some leading national daily newspapers for the first time, was something I would never forget.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
that happened in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. You should say: what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
it was how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
you were then who were there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
about it. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

I have had the opportunity to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fun and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
when I was attending elementary and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as a young boy. I
really
like this particular cue card topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to recall one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
thing, which happened about 10/11 years ago when I was about 13 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was lucky to have attended a great high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its great educational curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its great location. In fact, it
was located
in between a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
lake on one side and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
“Mahogany” garden on the other. Apart from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
and attractive surroundings, my high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
“guest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds”
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
from thousands of miles away,
probably
from other countries.

Of course
, we were already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to seeing the activities of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
, playing in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lake and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, empty playground behind our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
during one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
. In fact, in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
video cameramen and journalists,
probably
invited by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authority, were trying to film and photograph the visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
. It became even more fun and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
for us as we were
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
be filmed
and photographed with them in action. We
also
noticed with pleasant surprise that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
were acting like as if they were
also
enjoying our attention while
also
eating our food!
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us even tried to count how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
were
actually
there, visiting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
found out that there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to count!

Anyway
, “expedition into the world of the guest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds”
, as we called it, was
indeed
one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
experiences of my life, as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
Consider using "unique".
most unique
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
up until then as a young boy.
Besides
, showing my pictures in action with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
, along with other friends of mine, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leading national daily newspapers for the
first
time, was something I would never forget.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS speaking Describe something interesting that happened in your school. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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