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Describe an important message you have ever received. v.1

Describe an important message you have ever received. v. 1
Describe an important message you have ever received. You should say: when you received this message who sent it to you what was the content of the message and explain why it was so important to you.   Model Answer 1: We are constantly being bombarded with different kinds of messages in the form of emails and SMS, important or not-so-important, every day whether we like them or not. While some of those messages make us feel happy, the others sadden and demoralize us. Today, I would like to talk about one such important message, which I received about 5 years ago, that made me truly happy. Again, it was about 5 years ago, and I had just finished my four years honours course in Management Information System from the university. So, naturally, the next course of action for me was to get enrolled at the university again and finish my post-graduation degree. But, the problem was that the results in my undergraduate degree were not good enough to seek further education as a post-graduate student at the same university except, of course, I had at least a couple of years of previous work experience at a pharmaceutical company. So, the only option left for me was to “pray” in order to get listed on the ‘waiting list’, for students like me to receive admission offers from the authority at a later time, should somebody change the “Management Information System” major and transfer to another faculty or department. So, anyway, my waiting period started, and all I could do was to pray for a call from my university authority. Luckily enough, I did receive a formal message in an email, a couple of weeks after the initial trouble, inviting me to get enrolled at my university to carry on my Master's degree in Management Information System. The message was certainly important for me as it pretty much decided the course of my life and career for many years to come, by helping me become the person I am today, as I could not possibly excel academically as much in other educational fields as in the subject of my choice. Besides, it helped me stay in my home town and carry on with my higher education by remaining close to my elderly parents, which was absolutely important for me and my family.   Model Answer 2: With the wide-spread use of the cell phone, pager and the Internet, the message we send and receive has become an important part of our communication and we often get very important messages through those devices. One such important message that I received from one of my classmates who informed me that our exam schedule has been revised and I would need to come from my hometown immediately to attend the exam.   It was probably 2010 when I was a student of my 7th semester and one day we saw a notice on the university notice board that due to unavoidable reasons the final exam would be postponed and it would be around 7-8 day that the university would remain closed. Since this was a long gap, I planned to visit my hometown and went there the next day. I planned to stay there for about 5-6 days and then return to the capital city to attend my exam.     One day I got a message from one of my classmates, his name was David, and the message told that the university has opened all of a sudden and the exam would be tomorrow! I was really confused and called him instantly and heard that this was a decision taken by the university and the university has called every student regarding this sudden change. He also told me that he tried to call me several times and my cell phone was turned off! Then I realised that they could not reach my phone because of the network problem and texting from my classmate actually reached my phone. This was a very important message that I received since it informed me about a very important issue related to my exam schedule. If I had not got the message, there was a good chance that I would have missed the exam and that would have been a great problem for me.     Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would also enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as well:   Describe a piece of news you received on your phone. Describe a message you got from an unknown person. Describe a message you received lately. Describe a piece of good news you received via SMS.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
you have ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
. You should say: when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
it to you what was the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it was
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to you.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

We are
constantly
being bombarded
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
in the form of emails and SMS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
or not-
so
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, every day whether we like them or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel happy, the others sadden and demoralize us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I would like to talk about one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
, which I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
about 5 years ago, that made me
truly
happy.

Again, it was about 5 years ago, and I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished my four years
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in Management Information System from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
So
,
naturally
, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of action for me was to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
again and finish my post-graduation degree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the problem was that the results in my undergraduate degree were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to seek
further
education as a post-graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
except, of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, I had at least a couple of years of previous work experience at a pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for me was to “pray” in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
listed on the ‘waiting list’, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like me to receive admission offers from the authority at a later time, should somebody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the “Management Information System” major and transfer to another faculty or department.
So
,
anyway
, my waiting period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, and all I could do was to pray for a call from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
authority. Luckily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, I did receive a formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
in an email, a couple of weeks after the initial trouble, inviting me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to carry on my Master's degree in Management Information System.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
was
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for me as it pretty much decided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of my life and career for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, by helping me become the person I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, as I could not
possibly
excel
academically
as much in other educational fields as in the subject of my choice.
Besides
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me stay in my home town and carry on with my higher education by remaining close to my elderly parents, which was
absolutely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for me and my family.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 2:

With the wide-spread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, pager and the Internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and receive has become an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
communication and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
through those devices. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
from one of my classmates who informed me that our exam schedule has
been revised
and I would need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from my hometown immediately to attend the exam.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It was
probably
2010 when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
of my 7th semester and one day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a notice on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
notice board that due to unavoidable reasons the final exam would
be postponed
and it would be around 7-8 day that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
would remain closed. Since this was a long gap, I planned to visit my hometown and went there the
next
day. I planned to stay there for about 5-6 days and then return to the capital city to attend my exam.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
One day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
from one of my classmates, his name was David, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has opened all of a sudden and the exam would be tomorrow! I was
really
confused and called him
instantly
and heard that this was a decision taken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has called every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
regarding this sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. He
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he tried to call me several times and my cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was turned
off!

Then I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that they could not reach my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the network problem and texting from my classmate
actually
reached my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. This was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
since it informed me about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
issue related to my exam schedule. If I had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
, there was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance that I would have missed the exam and that would have been a great problem for me.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would
also
enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as
well
:
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a piece of news you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from an unknown person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
lately.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Describe
a piece of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
via SMS.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS speaking Describe an important message you have ever received. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
781 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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