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Describe an important invention that you think has positively influenced the human race. v.1

Describe an important invention that you think has positively influenced the human race. v. 1
Describe an important invention that you think has positively influenced the human race. You should say: what the invention is who invented it what changes it has brought and explain how it has positively influenced the human race. Follow-up Questions: Mention 2 famous scientists in your country? Why should we invest more in research? What is the single most important invention in your opinion?   Model Answer 1: Over the last couple of centuries, our world has been lucky enough to see many important innovations, which have brought many positive changes to the life of its inhabitants. However, I would like to talk about one of those innovations here today which probably has done more to influence the entire human race than anything else in the world. The name of this particular innovation is “Telephone”. In plain English, it is a device that converts sound and electrical waves into audible relays and is used for communication by using a microphone and speaker. Many people had tried to play with the idea of coming up with such innovation, but it was Mr Alexander Graham Bell, who finally succeeded in doing it in 1876.   Of course, as with every other thing, when the telephone was first introduced, only the rich people could afford it as the materials, needed to use or connect the device, were quite expensive. But, as people slowly started to understand its full potentials, the telephone became an every household item, as it allowed them to communicate with each other seamlessly, no matter where they lived, whether they were maintaining a long-distance relationship or doing a multi-million dollar business in another country.   In fact, communication would never be the same after the introduction of the telephone. Anyway, the positive influence of telephone can be seen in the ease of communication and carrying on with our daily activities 24 hours a day and 365 days a year without any interruption. It also led to the development of city centres, office buildings and the concept of an urban worker society. Besides, it has also lead to the creation of many jobs by changing the pace of business. The telephone has also provided security and helped in emergencies.   However, probably the most positive influence has come in the form of a whole host of new inventions, like the smartphone and the internet, with which, we can now not only talk but also see each other live on video at the same time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
an
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important
invention that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
has
positively
influenced the human race. You should say: what the invention is who invented it what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
it has brought and
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explain
how it has
positively
influenced the human race. Follow-up Questions: Mention 2
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famous
scientists in your country? Why should we invest more in research? What is the single most
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important
invention in your opinion?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

Over the last couple of centuries, our world has been lucky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
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see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
, which have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the life of its inhabitants.
However
, I would like to talk about one of those
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innovations
here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
which
probably
has done more to influence the entire human race than anything else in the world.

The name of this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Telephone”
. In plain English, it is a device that converts sound and electrical waves into audible relays and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for communication by using a microphone and speaker.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
had tried to play with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of coming up with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
,
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but
it was Mr Alexander Graham Bell, who
finally
succeeded in doing it in 1876.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Of course
, as with every other thing, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
was
first
introduced,
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only
the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could afford it as the materials, needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or connect the device, were quite expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to understand its full potentials, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
became an every household item, as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to communicate with each other
seamlessly
, no matter where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, whether they were maintaining a long-distance relationship or doing a multi-million dollar business in another country.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In fact, communication would never be the same after the introduction of the telephone.

Anyway
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of communication and carrying on with our daily activities 24 hours a day and 365 days a year without any interruption. It
also
led to the development of city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, office buildings and the concept of an urban worker society.
Besides
, it has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "leaded", "led".
lead
to the creation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs by changing the pace of business. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
has
also
provided security and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in emergencies.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
However
,
probably
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the form of a whole host of new inventions, like the smartphone and the internet, with which, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on video at the same time.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe an important invention that you think has positively influenced the human race. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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