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Describe a positive change in your life. v.1

Describe a positive change in your life. v. 1
Describe a positive change in your life. You should say: what  the change was about when it happened  describe details of the change happened  and describe how it affected you later in life. Follow-up Questions: What changes do you want to make in your life? Do you believe we can control our own fate? How? What three changes you would want to see in your country?   Model Answer 1: No doubt, we all go through some kind of changes in our lives at some points of our life one way or another. While some of those changes may go unnoticed, others can bring some positive changes in our life, and today I would like to talk about one such positive change. I had developed many hobbies in my life, but “reading” was just not one of them. Of course, I had no problems whatsoever in studying all kinds of academic books in order to pass the tests at schools and colleges, but when it came to studying anything else, like storybooks, novels, or books on science, technologies, improving life skills and knowledge, I would become one of laziest persons on the earth. My parents even sometimes used to “bribe” to develop my reading habit, but nothing was really able to change my mind. But, suddenly, one day, when I was a final year university student about 6 years ago, one of my favourite teachers asked me to suggest some interesting books to read, while he would be gone for summer holidays, I had no clue what to tell. Understanding my awkward situation, my teacher smiled away while I felt really ‘embarrassed’. After that incident, I decided to buy some books and started reading them one page at a time. Slowly after that, I actually became “addicted” to reading some specific kinds of books. At one point, I even started to struggle to pay for the books I was buying, because they were just so many! Anyway, I am so glad that I started reading books as it gave a certain kind of confidence boost by teaching me a lot of unknown and amazing thing about this world. Besides, after developing my reading habit, I gained a great level of understanding and appreciation for different kinds of people from different cultures, lifestyles and backgrounds. Finally, this particular change even helped me in developing my career later on in my life by encouraging me to read many books on “career and skill” development.   Model Answer 2: You have asked me to think back on some change I’ve made in my life, that turned out to be one for the better! I am going to tell you what the change was and when it happened. I’ll give you a bit of detail about how things were different for me after the change and finish by describing what it means for me now, a bit later in life. The funny thing about changes is that you don’t always recognise them at the time. For me, I didn’t know when I started out that the positive change I was making would turn out to be a long term difference in my behaviour. However, it turned out to be just that. It is only looking back now that I can identify there was a definite shift in what I got up to, and I can even pinpoint a definite time, but in the midst of it all, I had no idea where that change would take me. The change was basically that I decided I needed to get a bit fitter, and the thing that helped me do so was joining up to do Parkrun. However, I’m jumping ahead. Let me explain how it came about… A couple of years ago I started to feel like I was getting old and losing my basic fitness. Although I walked quite a lot (as a form of transport, as well as to enjoy the local countryside) I wasn’t really doing anything else very much that was physical. I was never very good at sports, so I didn’t really know where to begin. However, I’ve always liked being outdoors, so on something of a whim I booked an activity holiday in Northumberland, which is a beautiful rural area in the northeast of England, right by the coast. The holiday was great. We did abseiling; hill walking; body-surfing – all sorts of things. In addition, every morning began with a run along the sands of the seaside. Now I’d never run before – well only if I was trying to catch a bus, but otherwise, not at all. I wasn’t very good at it, and honestly, I didn’t even really enjoy it all that much. However, I did have to concede that it is a great form of exercise. You don’t really need any special equipment (apart from decent trainers); you can do it anywhere and it’s free! What’s more, I found out from some other holidaymakers that in the UK there is a free weekly event held nationwide in parks all over the country. It is called Parkrun, and basically people gather every Saturday morning at 9. 00 a. m. to run a fixed course of 5km and get time for doing so. I wasn’t too sure if this would be achievable for me. I’d never run that far before. But I promised myself I would try it ‘just once’ to see if I could. The day after I got back from my holiday I turned up to do the Parkrun at my local park. I can tell you the exact day! It was 24th August 2013 – I know this because the whole point of Parkrun is that if you register (which is free) then the organisation records your time each week and you can access it online afterwards. The first time I went I didn’t even manage to run the whole way round, but I did finish, and I did get a great sense of achievement. Because you know your time, it is quite addictive, you find you do want to go again the next week and see if you can improve!   My local "parkrun" is huge, with well over 500 runners taking part every week – so even though I was pretty slow, I found I wasn’t the slowest. Since that day over two years ago, I’ve found that I’ve gone to Parkrun almost every week.   I have taken part in some 70 "parkruns" and through doing so made new friends, maintained a certain level of fitness, and even gained the confidence to take part in some longer runs.   I’ve done lots of 10km races now, a few off-road runs – including one over 24km as well as taking part in obstacle races!   I would never have believed that the small change of ‘just going once’ to Parkrun to ‘give it a go’ would lead to me being such an enthusiastic member of Parkrun two years later.   By the way, I haven’t really ever got any faster, but I’m definitely a lot fitter.   Now I can’t imagine a Saturday morning without heading off for a run with my 500 friends at the local park!   That first day I turned up nervously to join in with Parkrun was definitely the beginning of a positive change in my life! [ Written by - Lucy Marris | Careers Adviser (UK), TEFL teacher (Vietnam) ]
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should say: what
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was about when it happened
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
happened
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Follow-up Questions: What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
do you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
? Do you believe we can control our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fate? How? What three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
you would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in your country?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

No doubt, we all go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
one way or another. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
may go unnoticed, others can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I would like to talk about one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

I had developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hobbies in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“reading”
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not one of them.
Of course
, I had no problems whatsoever in studying all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in order to pass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
at schools and colleges,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it came to studying anything else, like storybooks, novels, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on science, technologies, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge, I would become one of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the laziest".
laziest
persons on the earth.

My parents even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to “bribe” to develop my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
my mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
suddenly
, one day, when I was a final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
university student about 6 years ago, one of my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
teachers asked me to suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to read, while he would
be gone
for summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, I had no clue what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
. Understanding my awkward situation, my teacher smiled away while I felt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
‘embarrassed’. After that incident, I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
them one page at a time.

Slowly
after that, I
actually
became “addicted” to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. At one point, I even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
to struggle to pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
I was buying,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
!

Anyway
, I am
so
glad that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as it gave a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of confidence boost by teaching me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of unknown and amazing thing about this world.
Besides
, after developing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit, I gained a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
level of understanding and appreciation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, lifestyles and backgrounds.
Finally
, this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in developing my career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
on in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by encouraging me to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on “career and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
” development.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 2:

You have asked me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
back on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
I’ve made in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turned
out to be one for the better! I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was and when it happened. I’ll give you a bit of detail about how things were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for me after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and finish by describing what it means
Did you mean "to" ('to mean something to somebody')?
for
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
thing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is that you don’t always
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
them at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. For me, I didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
out that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
I was making would turn out to be a long term difference in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
However
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turned
out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
looking back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
that I can identify there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
shift in what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
up to, and I can even pinpoint a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the midst of it all, I had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
where that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
would take me. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was
basically
that I decided I needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a bit fitter, and the thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me do
so
was joining up to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
.
However
, I’m jumping ahead.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how it came about… A couple of years ago I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
to feel like I was getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and losing my basic fitness. Although I walked quite a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
(as a form of transport, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
countryside) I wasn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
doing anything else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much that was physical. I was never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at sports,
so
I didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.
However
, I’ve always liked being outdoors,
so
on something of a whim I booked an activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
in Northumberland, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
rural area in the northeast of England,
right
by the coast. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
. We
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "went abseiling".
did abseiling
; hill walking; body-surfing
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
all sorts of things.
In addition
, every morning began with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
along the sands of the seaside.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
I’d never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if I was trying to catch a bus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
otherwise
, not at all. I wasn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at it, and
honestly
, I didn’t even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
enjoy it all that much.
However
, I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concede that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
form of exercise. You don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
need any special equipment (apart from decent trainers); you can do it anywhere and it’s free! What’s more, I found out from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other holidaymakers that in the UK there is a free weekly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
held nationwide in parks all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the country. It
is called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
, and
basically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gather every Saturday morning at 9. 00 a. m. to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
course of
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 km"
5km
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for doing
so
. I wasn’t
Did you mean "to sure"?
too sure
if this would be achievable for me. I’d never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
that far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I promised myself I would try it ‘
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
once’ to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if I could. The day after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
back from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turned
up to do the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
park. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you the exact day! It was 24th August 2013
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the whole point of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
is that if you register (which is free) then the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
records your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and you can access it online afterwards. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I went I didn’t even manage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
the whole way round,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did finish, and I did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
sense of achievement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it is quite addictive, you find you do want to go again the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
parkrun
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is huge, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
500 runners taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
so
even though
I was pretty slow, I found I wasn’t the slowest. Since that day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
two years ago, I’ve found that I’ve gone to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I have taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
70
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
parkruns
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and through doing
so
made new friends, maintained a certain level of fitness, and even gained the confidence to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
runs
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I’ve done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "10 km"
10km
races
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, a few off-road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
runs
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
including one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "24 km"
24km
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in obstacle races!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would never have believed that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of ‘
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going once’ to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
to ‘give it a go’ would lead to me being such an enthusiastic member of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
two years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
By the way, I haven’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
any faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’m definitely a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
fitter.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
I can’t imagine a Saturday morning without heading off for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
with my 500 friends at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
park!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
That
first
day I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turned
up
nervously
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkrun
was definitely the beginning of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
!
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
[
Written by
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Lucy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marris
| Careers Adviser (UK), TEFL teacher (Vietnam)
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
]
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
130Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a positive change in your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
7 paragraphs
1243 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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