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Describe a time when you were excited. v.1

Describe a time when you were excited. v. 1
Describe a time when you were excited. You should say: when it was where you were who were with you and explain why you were so excited. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: Many things happen in our life that make us happy and excited. So, anyway, today I would like to talk about one of those many things that made me excited immensely, and it was when I got my first job about 10 years ago. Back then, I had just finished my university study and came back to my hometown in order to live with my parents up until I found a job. Of course, my parents were not exactly in a hurry like me, as far as finding a job was concerned since they rather wanted me to stay with them and start some kind of business instead of finding a job. But, I wanted to get a job in a big city and leave my little, old town. So, I started to apply for jobs, one after another, but soon I realized that getting a decent job wasn’t exactly a very easy thing. But, I didn’t want to give up on my mission of looking for a job. So, for the next 8/9 months, all I did was to search for new jobs everywhere and apply for them. Then, one day, I got an interview call from one of the prestigious accounting firms of my country, and that too was from a town which wasn’t too far away from me. Then, the life-changing moment arrived one day when I got an interview call from one of the renowned accounting firms of my country and was offered a job on the spot. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life, but unfortunately, there was nobody with me then to share the excitement. Anyway, I was so excited because it opened up many windows of opportunities that were lying ahead of my life. I was thrilled also because it would allow me to move out of my little town and explore the world a little on my own. Finally, needless to say, the prospect of earning a lot of money in the future was also something which excited me after getting my first job.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a time when you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
. You should say: when it was where you were who were with you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you were
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
things happen in our life that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us happy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
.
So
,
anyway
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I would like to talk about one of those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that made me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
immensely
, and it was when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
about 10 years ago.

Back then, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished my university study and came back to my hometown in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my parents up until I found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Of course
, my parents were not exactly in a hurry like me, as far as finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was concerned
since they
rather
wanted me to stay with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of business
instead
of finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
town.

So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, one after another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
I realized that getting a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
wasn’t exactly a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I didn’t want to give up on my mission of looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
So
, for the
next
8/9 months, all I did
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
was
to search for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
everywhere and apply for them. Then, one day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an interview call from one of the prestigious accounting firms of my country, and that too was from a town which wasn’t too far away from me. Then, the life-changing moment arrived one day when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an interview call from one of the renowned accounting firms of my country and
was offered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on the spot
.

It was one of the most exciting moments of my life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, there was nobody with me then to share the excitement.

Anyway
, I was
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it opened up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
windows of opportunities that were lying ahead of my life. I
was thrilled
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
town and explore the world a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Finally
,
needless to say
, the prospect of earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money in the future was
also
something which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excited
me after getting my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS speaking Describe a time when you were excited. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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