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Describe a person in the news whom you want to meet. v.1

Describe a person in the news whom you want to meet. v. 1
Describe a person in the news whom you want to meet. You should say: who this person is why this person showed up on TV how you know about this person and explain why you want to meet him/her. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: Life is busy. So, making time for watching TV is not something I manage to do that often. But, luckily, the other night after coming back from my work, I did find some time for myself to watch one of my favourite TV programmes which aired the interview of one of the successful business magnets of my country. And I really want to meet this person in person and spend some time with him. This successful business magnet, who showed up on the TV on that night, is a bit different from most others because he seemed a bit too young to me to be such a successful businessman. But, as the interview kept rolling, a lot of information about him started to come into the light. Of course, I already knew a little about that person by reading some business magazines and newspapers, but the interview was an eye-opener for me since it proved how a person of such a humble background could reach the pinnacle of financial success within such a short period of time. In fact, the person had almost nothing when he started his fruit selling business at a street corner about 12 years ago when he was only about 22 years old. Today, with more than 150 acres of different kinds of fruits gardens and one of the largest juice manufacturing companies on his name, the 34 years old business wizard has proved himself to be one of the most promising young business persons of an entire continent. So, how exactly did he manage to become such a successful entrepreneur at such a young age? Well, the answer, according to him, is that he always dreamt big even if his family was one of the poorest in the town. Needless to say, I have always wanted to meet him for as long as I have known him from TV and newspapers. And I also did want to spend some time with him right after finishing watching his interview, and I wanted to meet him, not because of his enviable financial success, but because of his positive attitude. I would like to meet him also because I want to ask him about how possibly a person of such a humble background, with no financial backing and formal education, could dream such big at such an early age and finally prove out to achieve them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the news whom you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. You should say: who this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
up on TV how
you know
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
him/her. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

Life is busy.
So
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for watching TV is not something I manage to do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, luckily, the other night after coming back from my work, I did find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for myself to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
one of my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which aired the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
of one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
magnets of my country. And I
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with him.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
magnet, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
up on the TV on that night, is a bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from most others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he seemed a bit too young to me to be such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
businessman.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
rolling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information about him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the light.
Of course
, I already knew a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
by reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
magazines and newspapers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
was an eye-opener for me since it proved how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
of such a humble background could reach the pinnacle of financial success within such a short period of time.

In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
had almost nothing when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his fruit selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
at a street corner about 12 years ago when he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 22 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, with more than 150 acres of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of fruits gardens and one of the largest juice manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
on his name, the 34 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
wizard has proved himself to be one of the most promising young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
of an entire continent.
So
, how exactly did he manage to become such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
entrepreneur at such a young age?
Well
, the answer, according to him, is that he always dreamt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
even if his family was one of the poorest in the town.

Needless to say
, I have always wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
him for as long as I have known him from TV and newspapers. And I
also
did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with him
right
after finishing watching his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
, and I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
him, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his enviable financial success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
him
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to ask him about how
possibly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
of such a humble background, with no financial backing and formal education, could dream such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
at such an early age and
finally
prove out to achieve them.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS speaking Describe a person in the news whom you want to meet. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
478 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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