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Describe a success in your life. v.1

Describe a success in your life. v. 1
Describe a success in your life. You should say: what it is when you achieved it how you achieved it and explain how important this success in your life is/was.   Model Answer 1: Different people like to define success differently. For example, some would define success as owning a very nice house while others would define it as having a nice job. But, the success story, which I am about to share here today is a bit different because it doesn’t involve any material gains. Rather it is about becoming successful in giving up a particularly bad habit. Well, of course, some people may not consider giving up smoking a success, but for me, it was a big success. In fact, for a person, who has smoked for more than 10 years, giving up the habit after trying only for a few months was a huge success. However, I didn’t quite have the urge to achieve this success until I became sick about a year ago. In fact, I was suffering from problems like bronchitis and short-breathing so much, because of excessive smoking, that I even needed to go to the hospital a few times within just a period of 6 months. By the way, the doctor advised me to give up smoking as soon as possible about 5 years ago because of the similar kinds of problems, even though not as serious as the recent illness, but I simply shrugged off the advice. But, apparently, the decision proved out to be very costly later on as I found out that I had done some serious damage to my lung. So, it was time for me to behave like an adult for the sake of my health and stop smoking completely. Initially, of course, I felt very edgy and frustrated because I couldn’t enjoy my favourite thing (that is smoking), but slowly and slowly, I got used to it by keeping myself busy with other things like painting and taking photography. Anyway, this success was very important in my life as it helped me become a more healthy and productive person. Besides, it also helped me reconnect with my family members like a responsible person. Finally, this success also helped me to save up some money which I was wasting in buying smokes for me.   Sample Answer 2: The way we look at our success and the way people look at it always differ. We sometimes consider our small and personal achievements are great successes while to others; those might not be counted as successes at all. Thus we judge ourselves in a different angel than people do. However, some successes are exemplary and inspiring. The success that I achieved and would like to talk about is my involvement in a social welfare activity that I greatly feel proud of. The local authority of our hometown once planned to build a multi-storied shopping mall in a public park. Some of us suddenly noticed that they have started cutting the trees and we later learned that they will build a shopping mall there. We instantly planned to protest if though we knew that it would be complicated issues and we have little power against the powerful authority that has planned to destroy the park and make it a profitable marketplace. We were initially 5-6 persons involved in the protest and we let the community people know about the mischievous plan the authority has taken. Later 20 more people joined our group. We went to the local authority, journalists; police station met local politicians and social workers and presented our view and abhorrent plan the authority has taken. Because of our protests, the tree cutting was halted. Later we found that more community people joined us and news has been published in the local newspapers regarding this issue. The park was the only green place and recreation centre for the local people. People came there in the morning and evening to walk, run and do other short of social activities. Children enjoyed playing there and some social programs held there. A large number of birds stay at the trees of the park and destroying this park would have been a serious threat to our environment as there were more than 300 different trees there. It was not easy to fight with the powerful authority and we had to struggle a lot for more than 6 months. We finally went to court and got the decree against destroying the park. This whole event occurred 5 years back when I was a fresh college student. I still consider my involvement to save the part as a great thing I did and being able to save the park and nature is a big success in my life.     Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would also enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as well: Describe an achievement you have. Describe a happy event in your life. Describe a memorable event in your life. Describe an occasion when you were congratulated. Describe a successful man you know about.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should say: what it is when you achieved it how you achieved it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is/was.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
differently
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
as owning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
while others would define it as having a nice job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
story, which I am about to share here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn’t involve any material gains.
Rather
it is about becoming successful in giving up a
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit.

Well
,
of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not consider giving up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me, it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In fact, for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, who has smoked for more than 10 years, giving up the habit after trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a few months was a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
However
, I didn’t quite have the urge to achieve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
until I became sick about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
ago. In fact, I was suffering from problems like bronchitis and short-breathing
so
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, that I even needed to go to the hospital a few times within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a period of 6 months.

By the way, the doctor advised me to give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible about 5 years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the similar kinds of problems,
even though
not as serious as the recent illness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
simply
shrugged off the advice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
apparently
, the decision proved out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
on as I found out that I had done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious damage to my lung.
So
, it was time for me to behave like an adult for the sake of my health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
completely.
Initially
,
of course
, I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
edgy and frustrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I couldn’t enjoy my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
thing (
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking)
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
slowly
and
slowly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it by keeping myself busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things like painting and taking photography.

Anyway
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me become a more healthy and productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Besides
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me reconnect with my family members like a responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Finally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money which I was wasting in buying smokes for me.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2:

The way we look at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look at it always differ. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
consider our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and personal achievements are great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
while to others; those might not
be counted
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
at all.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we judge ourselves in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
angel than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
are exemplary and inspiring. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
that I achieved and would like to talk about is my involvement in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
welfare activity that I
greatly
feel proud of.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
of our hometown once planned to build a multi-storied shopping mall in a public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of us
suddenly
noticed that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
cutting the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trees and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
learned that they will build a shopping mall there. We
instantly
planned to protest if though we knew that it would
be complicated
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issues and
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
power against the powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
that has planned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a profitable marketplace. We were
initially
5-6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
involved in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
protest and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about the mischievous plan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
has taken.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Later
20 more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
our group. We went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
, journalists; police station met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
politicians and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
workers and presented our view and abhorrent plan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
has taken.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of our protests, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
cutting
was halted
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Later
we found that more community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
us and news has
been published
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
newspapers regarding this issue.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
green place and recreation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
came there in the morning and evening to walk, run and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
short of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities. Children enjoyed playing there and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
programs held there.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
birds stay at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and destroying this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
would have been a serious threat to our environment as there were more than 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
there. It was not easy to fight with the powerful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
authority and
we had to struggle a lot for more than 6 months. We
finally
went to court and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the decree against destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. This whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
occurred 5 years back when I was a fresh college student. I
still
consider my involvement to save the part as a great thing I did and being able to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and nature is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would
also
enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as
well
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
an achievement you have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a happy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a memorable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Describe
an occasion when you
were congratulated
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Describe
a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
you know
about.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
84Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a success in your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
8 paragraphs
856 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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