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Describe a crowded place that you have visited. v.1

Describe a crowded place that you have visited. v. 1
Describe a crowded place that you have visited. You should say: where it is when you visited this place why you visited it and explain how you felt about visiting this crowded place. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: I try to avoid visiting crowded public places, unless I have an important reason for that, mainly because I don’t really like noises. But, apparently, some of my close friends didn’t really care about what I liked or didn’t like when they took me to a live musical concert about a few years ago. Now, please don’t think that I don’t like music or musical concert because I seldom miss a chance to see a musical concert on television. Besides, I also watch different kinds of music concert videos by using resources on the internet. But, some of my good friends thought that it was time for me to change myself and attend a live musical concert instead of just watching them on television and online. Anyway, initially I thought that I would somehow be able to bypass the request of my friends on that occasion also like on previous occasions, but they seemed really persistent on that occasion. In fact, to get me motivated to visit with them, they even arranged the money to buy the concert ticket themselves for me instead of having me to pay for it. Besides, they also told me that they were going to play some of my all-time favourite music. So, I had no other choice but to go with them and enjoy the concert for the sake of friendship. By the way, it was an open-air concert in a big stadium where thousands of music lovers were able to accommodate themselves, and I felt like I was lost in the ocean of crowd after arriving there. Anyway, after visiting that crowded musical concert, initially, I felt happy because the music there was really nice. But, as more time passed, and as more and more fans came to the concert, I could hardly listen to the music anymore because of the deafening noises of the chorus music of the fans there. On top of that, I got a bit tired after keeping myself on my feet for a long time since there was hardly any space for sitting.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that you have visited. You should say: where it is when you visited this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
why you visited it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how you felt about visiting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

I try to avoid visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowded
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, unless I have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for that,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
like noises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
apparently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my close friends didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
care about what I liked or didn’t like when they took me to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
about a few years ago.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I don’t like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I seldom miss a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
on television.
Besides
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
videos by using resources on the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it was time for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
myself and attend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching them on television and online.

Anyway
,
initially
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I would somehow be able to bypass the request of my friends on that occasion
also
like on previous occasions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they seemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
persistent on that occasion. In fact, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
me motivated to visit with them, they even arranged the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
ticket themselves for me
instead
of having me to pay for it.
Besides
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that they were going to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my all-time
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
So
, I had no other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
them and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
for the sake of friendship.

By the way, it was an open-air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stadium where thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lovers were able to accommodate themselves, and I felt like I
was lost
in the ocean of crowd after arriving there.

Anyway
, after visiting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
,
initially
, I felt happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
there was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
nice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as more time passed, and as more and more fans came to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
, I could hardly listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the deafening noises of the chorus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of the fans there.
On top of that
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a bit tired after keeping myself on my feet for a long time since there was hardly any space for sitting.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a crowded place that you have visited. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
419 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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