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Describe a birthday celebration you have attended recently. v.1

Describe a birthday celebration you have attended recently. v. 1
Describe a birthday celebration you have attended recently. You should say: whose birthday it was who attended the party where it took place and explain how much you enjoyed this birthday celebration.   Model Answer 1: In this busy life, we don’t really get enough time to enjoy much social and family life, despite our best efforts and intention. Still, whatever spare time we manage, we try to make the best use of it, just like I did recently by attending a birthday party. It was the birthday of one of my close friends who lives in a different city.   I would have almost forgotten about this birthday if I hadn’t tried to organize the desk of my living room. In fact, it was on that desk that I found the little note, I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, about the special occasion and its date. Luckily it fell on a weekend, so it was really a great opportunity for me, after all, to enjoy a little social life. Anyway, the "birthday" party took place at the residence of my good friend who lives in a rather large house with his entire family, including his parents, wife and a couple of his siblings. The birthday party was also attended by a number of our common friends and a number of close relatives of my friend. I think that there were about 50 people altogether, who attended the birthday party, and all of them were enjoying their time in a very friendly atmosphere while enjoying some snacks and soft drinks also at the same time. Finally, the time for the cake cutting ceremony arrived, and we all sang the “happy birthday” song to wish a very happy and long life for my friend. After spending about a couple of happy and fun hours at the party, we ended it on a good note with a light dinner meal to satisfy our appetite. Anyway, I really enjoyed the birthday party of my friend as it allowed me to forget about the worries of my life for a while. Besides, at the party, I felt free to laugh with my heart’s content and crack any jokes with my friends after a long time. All in all, it was a great birthday celebration which made everybody happy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a birthday celebration you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
recently. You should say: whose birthday it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
where it took place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how much you enjoyed this birthday celebration.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1: In this busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, we don’t
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy much social and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, despite our best efforts and intention.
Still
, whatever spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we manage, we try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like I did recently by attending a birthday party.

It was the birthday of one of my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I would have almost forgotten about this birthday if I hadn’t tried to organize the desk of my living room. In fact, it was on that desk that I found the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
note, I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, about the special occasion and its date. Luckily it fell on a weekend,
so
it was
really
a great opportunity for me,
after all
, to enjoy a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
social life.

Anyway
, the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
birthday
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
took place at the residence of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
rather
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with his entire family, including his parents, wife and a couple of his siblings. The birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
was
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
by a number of our common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and a number of close relatives of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there were about 50
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
altogether,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
the birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, and all of them were enjoying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly atmosphere while enjoying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
snacks and soft drinks
also
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the cake cutting ceremony arrived, and we all sang the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“happy
birthday” song to wish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. After spending about a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and fun hours at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, we ended it on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
note with a light dinner meal to satisfy our appetite.

Anyway
, I
really
enjoyed the birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to forget about the worries of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a while.
Besides
, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, I felt free to laugh with my heart’s content and crack any jokes with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
after a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. All in all, it was a great birthday celebration which made everybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a birthday celebration you have attended recently. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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