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Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed a lot to the community. <br> v.3

Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed a lot to the community. <br> v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Kensington, Melbourne, writing to express my appreciation for your decision to reward people who have selflessly helped others and brought positive changes to the community. I would like to recommend someone for the award who has contributed immensely to make our community a better place. Mr Albenny, a retired government officer, also knows as the pioneer of the green movement in our community, deserves the award more than anyone else. He has been working on the Green Movement project for more than 20 years and has since inspired a thousand others to plant trees and save the environment. His dedication is inspiring and three years ago our community received national recognition due to the green movement pioneered by Mr Albenny. He is a highly revered person who is equally loved by his friends and foes. I personally believe that you should consider him for the award you are intending to present to people with their great contributions to the community. What can be more inspiring when someone's actions motivate hundreds of others to make the world a better place to live in? A simple crest or a trophy as the award would suffice, but you should make the award-giving ceremony open for all. Once again thank you for your time and initiative. Yours faithfully, Helena Gomez
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a resident of Kensington, Melbourne, writing to express my appreciation for your decision to reward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
selflessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
others and brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I would like to recommend someone for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
who has contributed
immensely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
a better place.

Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Albenny
, a retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officer,
also
knows as the pioneer of the green movement in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, deserves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
more than anyone else. He has been working on the Green Movement project for more than 20 years and has since inspired a thousand others to plant trees and save the environment. His dedication is inspiring and three years ago our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
received national recognition due to the green movement pioneered by Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Albenny
. He is a
highly
revered person who is
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by his friends and foes.

I
personally
believe that you should consider him for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
you are intending to present to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with their great contributions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. What can be more inspiring when someone's actions motivate hundreds of others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in? A simple crest or a trophy as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
would suffice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the award-giving ceremony open for all.

Once again thank you for your time and initiative.

Yours
faithfully
,

Helena Gomez
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed a lot to the community. <br> v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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