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Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country the head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go write a letter to the head teacher in your letter say why you would like to go on the trip suggest what you could do to help during the trip ask other questions about the trip

Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country the head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go write a letter to the head teacher in your letter say why you would like to go on the trip suggest what you could do to help during the trip ask other questions about the trip pRXnd
Dear sir, I hope you are well? Firstly, I would like to thank you for selecting my son, in singing competition at kathmandu next week. However, my son told me about the trip. I would like to express my wish to join this trip. Moreover, I have worked in a kathmandu as a tourist guide and I have 2years experience and I know most of the places. similarly, I know the culture and traditions of there. likewise, I can take care of my beloved son as if he have any difficulty I can take care of her and I have also experience of health care. Inaddition, I would help him by showing his singing competition venue and historical place there. Whereas, I can fully entertain when he feel sad and motivate him in tough times. Also, I have few queries, firstly, whether I will be allowed to stay with my son or stay separate. Besides, what about the swimming pool if I use I have to pay extra or included in booking list. I look forward to your quick reply. Yours sincerely, Alash sanjel
Dear sir, I hope you are well?
Firstly
, I would like to thank you for selecting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
, in singing competition at
Possible spelling mistake found.
kathmandu
next
week.
However
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about the trip. I would like to express my wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this trip.
Moreover
, I have worked in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
kathmandu
as a tourist guide and I have 2years experience and I know most of the places.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, I know the culture and traditions of there.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, I can take care of my beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
as if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
any difficulty I can take care of her and I have
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "experienced".
experience
of health care.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inaddition
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him by showing his singing competition venue and historical place there. Whereas, I can
fully
entertain when he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
sad and motivate him in tough times.
Also
, I have few queries,
firstly
, whether I will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to stay with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
or stay separate.
Besides
, what about the swimming pool if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay extra or included in booking list. I look forward to your quick reply. Yours
sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alash
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sanjel
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IELTS letter Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country the head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go write a letter to the head teacher in your letter say why you would like to go on the trip suggest what you could do to help during the trip ask other questions about the trip

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country the head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go write a letter to the head teacher in your letter say why you would like to go on the trip suggest what you could do to help during the trip ask other questions about the trip