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Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country.

Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. A39wn
Dear Miss Rose, My name is Sindhuja mother to Jude Hill. My daughter is a student at your school and in grade 4. I am writing this letter to inform you that I would like to accompany my daughter for the trip to Disney world in United States of America. To be honest, our kid never travelled internationally. Of course, she visited numerous places within our Country, on the contrary only with a guardian along with her. So, me and my husband decided that I would be joining her for this trip, and I am excited to have so much fun with her. Moreover, during the trip I can help you with other kids, in planning their day and taking care of them to reduce a number of of your burden. We can divide the children into groups and assign them to each guardian to take care of their day to day activities right from the start of the trip. I will take complete responsibility of one set of kids till the last day of the trip. This eases your tension and you can also enjoy the vacation. However, I wanted to know the details of the trip including how much it is going to cost, accommodation and schedule of the trip. I wish to prepare a budget for the vacation and plan my work accordingly prior to the trip starts. Thanks in advance for your support. Yours sincerely, Sindhuja
Dear Miss Rose,

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindhuja
mother to Jude Hill. My daughter is a student at your school and in grade 4. I am writing this letter to inform you that I would like to accompany my daughter for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to Disney world
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
of America.

To be honest, our kid never travelled
internationally
.
Of course
, she visited numerous places within our Country,
on the contrary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with a guardian along with her.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, me and my husband decided that I would be joining her for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, and I
am excited
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much fun with her.

Moreover
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you with other kids, in planning their day and taking care of them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a number
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
your burden. We can divide the children into groups and assign them to each guardian to take care of their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities right from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. I will take complete responsibility of one set of kids till the last day of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
your tension and you can
also
enjoy the vacation.

However
, I wanted to know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
including how much it is going to cost, accommodation and schedule of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. I wish to prepare a budget for the vacation and plan my work
accordingly
prior to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
.

Thanks in advance for your support.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindhuja
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IELTS letter Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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