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You work for a company. You have seen some information online about a training course that would be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • give details of the course • say how the course would be useful • explain how the company could help you do this course.

You work for a company. You have seen some information online about a training course that would be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • give details of the course • say how the course would be useful • explain how the company could help you do this course. WyEjb
Dear Venkat, I just made an aware of Sales-force administration course offered by the Simply learn business school. I am seeking your assistance for going ahead with this opportunity, which could give me a wide range of career options, on-contrary, this will also be beneficial for our company too, as we get to know the market values of our products by customer’s reviews and comments, furthermore, this will opens up the avenues for a better comprehension of the organization. This course a customer relationship course which help us in accomplishing the customer needs and help us in providing a quality of services by reviewing customer comments and statistics of the product by market. This course is intensely sophisticated, volatile and acts as a catalyst to acquire a progressive business. This is a 5 working day course starts on Monday 12th April to 17th April, from morning 9 ‘o clock to evening 6 ‘o clock. There are a myriad of benefits of this course, but the most conspicuous one is that the Sales-force administration sculpts an image that pigments mixes with a collection of texture and characters around the ground to form an ever moving mosaic of progression of business, but also is has an unprecedented constructive impact to the organization’s market value. I would be honored, if you could approve and allow me to attend this course. Kind Regards, Shaik Azeemuddin
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Venkat
,

I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
made
The phrase 'an aware of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an aware of
Sales-force administration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
offered by the
Simply
learn business school. I am seeking your assistance for going ahead with this opportunity, which could give me a wide range of career options, on-contrary, this will
also
be beneficial for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
too, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the market values of our products by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer’s
reviews and comments,
furthermore
, this will opens up the avenues for a better comprehension of the organization. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
relationship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in accomplishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in providing a quality of services by reviewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
comments and statistics of the product by market. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
intensely
sophisticated, volatile and acts as a catalyst to acquire a progressive business.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
is a 5 working day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
on Monday 12th April to 17th April, from morning 9 ‘o clock to evening 6 ‘o clock.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most conspicuous one is that the Sales-force administration sculpts an image that pigments mixes with a collection of texture and characters around the ground to form an ever moving mosaic of progression of business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is has an unprecedented constructive impact to the organization’s market value.

I would
be honored
, if you could approve and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to attend this course.

Kind Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shaik
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azeemuddin
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IELTS letter You work for a company. You have seen some information online about a training course that would be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • give details of the course • say how the course would be useful • explain how the company could help you do this course.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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