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You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. v.3

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about a Wireless Router that I bought from your store a few months ago. Unfortunately, it has suddenly stopped working and I am unable to connect to the Internet and work from home. I am hoping you would replace it immediately. The Netgear - AC1750 Dual-Band Wi-Fi Router that I purchased from you was operational until the end of last week but it is not working at the moment. I cannot find out the exact reason for it not to function but I have tried to do some initial diagnostics without any luck. I tried a similar router that I borrowed from a friend and it worked as expected. I work from home as a freelancer and my work depends on an uninterrupted Internet connection. I have several ongoing projects and I must meet the deadlines to retain my client base. As you can see, I am totally dependent on this equipment to get connected to the Internet, so I need to get this router fixed immediately. I suggest that you either replace the device with a new one or repair it within the next two days. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Denis Brian
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to complain about a Wireless Router that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from your store a few months ago. Unfortunately, it has
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
I am unable to connect to the Internet and work from home. I am hoping you would replace it immediately.

The Netgear
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
AC1750 Dual-Band Wi-Fi Router that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from you was operational until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of last week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not working at the moment. I cannot find out the exact reason for it not to function
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have tried to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initial diagnostics without any luck. I tried a similar router that I borrowed from a friend and it worked as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
work from home as a freelancer and my work depends on an uninterrupted Internet connection.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have several ongoing projects and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadlines to retain my client base. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, I am
totally
dependent on this equipment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected to the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this router
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
immediately. I suggest that you either replace the device with a new one or repair it within the
next
two days.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Denis Brian
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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