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You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

Dear sir/madamI am writing to you about the accommodation services provided by you as I saw the advertisement on your Facebook page. I'm planning to come to Canada for study in few months but I have no relative or friend in there, so I was wondering if you can help me to find a place where I can reside in until my study finishes, for approximately one year. I looked up to the basic rules and regulations for staying on rent in Canada, but I would really appreciate if you can enlighten me with more information about it. I am coming to Fanshaw college in Woodstock city located in Ontario province. Although, I can give you my budget and preferences about the place that fits best for me. As far as I can imagine, around 400$-450$ is affordable for me for a single person room as I am not comfortable to share my personal space with anyone else. It doesn't matter if the room is in a family house or a student housing, a town house or a apartment but it should be near my college so that I can save travel time and focus on my studies. I hope to hear back from you as soon as possible. Your advice would be really appreciated. Thank you in advance in case you decide to help me. Your's sincerely, Shivani Mehta
Dear sir/
Possible spelling mistake found.
madamI
Did you mean "am I"?
am
writing to you about the accommodation services provided by you as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the advertisement on your Facebook page. I'm planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to Canada for study in few months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have no relative or friend in there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I was wondering if you can
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help me find"?
help me to find
a place where I can reside in until my study finishes, for approximately one year. I looked up to the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations for staying on rent in Canada,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would
really
appreciate if you can enlighten me with more information about it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am coming to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fanshaw
college in Woodstock city located in Ontario province. Although, I can give you my budget and preferences about the place that fits best for me. As far as I can imagine, around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$400".
400$
-
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$450".
450$
is affordable for me for a single person room as I am not comfortable to share my personal space with anyone else. It doesn't matter if the room is in a family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or a student housing, a town
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
apartment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should be near my college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can save travel time and focus on my studies.

I hope to hear back from you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. Your advice would be
really
appreciated. Thank you in advance in case you decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me.

Did you mean "Your" or "Yours"?
Your's
sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shivani
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mehta
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IELTS letter You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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